Everything's Gotten Worse
by The Familiar
Summary: Sequel to Everything's Gone Bad, set a few years after it ended.
1. Happy Families

'I can't stand this any more

'I can't stand this any more!' Zim shouted, banging his hand down on a bench. Then he kicked it for good measure. Why did he stay?

'Mummy?' came a little voice from near the door, 'are you ok?'

Zim looked down and saw his little crossbreed smeet. He sighed. 'Of course I'm ok. Have you finished your food yet?' The smeet shook his head then ran out of the room.

Zim sighed again and rested his head on his hands. That's why he stayed. If he left, Lard narr would keep the smeet, and he wouldn't have anything. No empire, no army, nothing. Not even a way to go anywhere.

Zim was in the same position when the smeet came back five minutes later, carrying an empty plate. The smeet ran over and hugged Zims leg, to try and cheer him up. Zim looked down in surprise, once again having completely forgotten that the smeet existed. He was about to growl at it for getting food stains all over his pants, but remembered what he had been told about disciplining the smeet (that being: if it's just a small incident, don't), and didn't. He picked it and the dirty plate up and walked over to the cleaning box, which he put the plate in.

He looked down at the smeet that was hugging him tightly. Its' eyes were too small for an Irken, and it had dark blueish green skin, plus two little undeveloped horns further forward and on the inner edge of his antennae, showing the little smeets Vortian parentage. At least it had Irken legs, and not Vortian.

'Daddy will be home soon!' The smeet exclaimed. The smeet liked Daddy, he always played with him, and Mum didn't. His Mum didn't seem to understand play, and was always so serious.

'Yes,' Zim said. 'And you can play with him, and give me a rest from both of you.'

The door opened, and Zim put the smeet down, and it ran off to greet its' daddy.

--

Lard Narr was a hero among Vortians. After the Irkens had given up, and even returned the planet to the Vortians, who were glad that it hadn't been changed into a snack food manufacturing planet or anything, mainly due to the valiant efforts of the Resisty. Lard Narr had been given a big job in the government as a military advisor. It was such a big job, that he didn't really do anything. Messages were sent to him to be read, but he had a group of Vortians to read the messages, and make notes of the key points. He read the notes that were made, and made notes of his own as to what he thought should be done, and then other Vortians made final copies of his notes, which he read and either approved or disproved, which were then sent out. As such, there wasn't much to be done, and he got paid a lot for it.

Lard Narr smiled when he heard the running footsteps of his son, and picked him up in a great big hug. 'How's my little Vortian doing today?'

The smeet grinned and hugged Lard Narr around the neck. 'I missed you daddy! Mum wouldn't let me go to the park, but we can now, 'cause you're here!'

'Of course we can, but I want to speak to your mother first.' He put the child down and it ran off to another room.

Lard Narr moved off to the food room, where Zim usually was at this time of day. 'Zim.' He said in greeting.

Zim ignored him.

Lard Narr put his arms around Zim, causing Zim to tense. 'We're going to the park. Do you want to come?'

'I don't like going out.'

'i know you don't, but our son does, and you don't play with him enough.' He squeezed Zim a bit.

'I'm not going to the park. I get rocks thrown at me.'

Lard Narr nodded. It was true. He nuzzled the top of Zims head, and kissed him there. 'Ok, then. You can stay here.' He trailed his hands down over Zims stomach and to his hips.

Zim shook him off. 'Not with the smeet around.'

Lard Narr nodded and went off to get the child and go to the park.

-- -- - -- - - -- -

A note on languages: Everything is being spoken in alien, but is being translated into the nearest human equivalent. Names of parental roles are decided not by gender, but by the parent's role in conception. Zim, as carrier, is the mother, while Lard narr is the father.

Do not expect quick updates.


	2. bedtime

Zim tucked the smeet into its' bed for the night

In response to everybody who says "This stoy is so different, I've never read anything like it before" (about this series), I must reply, why write something you've already read?

- - -- - - -- -- -

Zim tucked the smeet into its' bed for the night. If it was a proper Irken, and not a traitorously born hybrid, it wouldn't have to sleep. He would probably be learning the glorious history of Irk now.

'Goodnight, Mummy!' The smeet said.

'Goodnight, Bij', Zim replied, stroking the smeets head.

The smeet held up a stuffed mooshminky toy. 'Say goodnight to mooshy?'

Zim sighed. These bedtime rituals were tiring. 'Goodnight mooshy.' The smeet giggled and wriggled down beneath the bed covers.

Zim left the room. The night time ritual of putting the smeet to bed confused him; the smeet was completely capable of putting itself to bed, so why was he needed? But Lard Narr had said that the smeet would be happier if someone was there to put it to bed. This caused a large argument between them, with Zim saying that it was training the smeet to be reliant and scared, and Lard Narr saying that it would help the smeet to grow up well adjusted. It had, like most of their fights, quickly degraded to racial insults, and then, unlike most of their other fights, physical violence.

Lard Narr crept up behind Zim while he was standing outside the smeets door, and hugged him around the waist. 'Come to bed with me tonight?' he whispered into Zims antennae.

Zim removed Lard Narrs hands from his waist, and replied, 'only to rest.'

Zim followed Lard Narr to the bedroom, and turned his back to Lard Narr while he took off his boots and shirt, leaving his pants and undershirt on. He never liked to be too undressed.

Lard Narr, on the other hand, was happily pulling his pants, shirt, undershirt, and goggles off. He hopped into bed and looked at Zim squintingly. 'Loosen up a bit, Zim. You can take your pants off. How long have you been wearing that pair, anyway?'

Zim frowned. He actually couldn't remember having worn another pair lately. Maybe he could divest of them tonight, and get a clean pair in the morning. He took them off, glad that his undershirt was long enough to go down to mid thigh. He crawled into bed and was immediately grabbed by Lard Narr and hugged loosely. Zim smiled; he liked this closeness. It was comforting.

Lard Narr grinned. This was nice. He pulled Zim closer, and stroked his back. He saw Zim close his eyes and relax almost completely. Then he moved his hand a bit lower, and tickled Zims cheek.

Zim tried to stop himself from laughing. He was sensitive there. He kicked a bit, and tickled the base of Lard Narrs horns. This was fun; he only hoped Lard Narr didn't ruin it by trying to go too far. He felt a leg slip between his thighs and froze. 'No.' He said firmly. The leg didn't move.

'Please, Zim.' Lard Narr begged. 'It's been so long, and we're both enjoying it.' He moved closer. 'Please?'

'No.' Zim replied. 'I don't want to, not tonight.'

'Why not?' Lard Narr removed his leg. 'Why shouldn't we?' He grabbed Zims upper arms and pushed him onto his back, leaning over him. 'Why shouldn't I?' From this close he could see true fear in Zims eyes.

'You wouldn't-' Zim started. 'You promised you wouldn't, not again.' Zim knew that Lard Narr would; promises meant nothing to aliens. Or Irkens for that matter.

Lard Narr growled and pushed Zim off the bed. He remembered that promise. He had made it when Zim gave birth. He had told Zim he would never be forced to have sex again. He couldn't break that promise. He picked up a blanket and stalked out to the lounge room, to go and sleep on the couch.

Zim lay on the floor by the bed, making the resolution that that would never happen to him again.

-- - -- - - --

Yay!! Another chapter full of heart warming laffs by me.

Yeah, Lard Narr's short sighted, apparently.


	3. Chapter 3

Don't you all just love unnecessary sequels

Don't you all just love unnecessary sequels?

- - -- - - --

Zim woke the smeet up as soon as Lard Narr had gone to work the following morning.

'Mummy?' the smeet asked blearily, 'what's happening?'

Zim paused. 'We're going on a holiday. I've already packed your bag, get up and we can go.'

'Is Daddy coming with us?'

'No.'

The smeet hugged his little stuffed Mooshminky doll closer. 'I don't want to go without Daddy.'

Zim sighed. 'Daddy will be following us later.'

'Can I bring Moosh with me?'

Zim looked at the stuffed doll and shuddered, it was a horrible carrier for bugs, and he had argued over the smeet having it. That was another point Lard Narr had won. 'Sure, let's go.'

'Yay!!' The smeet hopped out of bed and got dressed quickly, with some assistance from Zim to make things go faster. 'Where we going?'

'First, we're going to a used ship yard near here, then, we're going to a planet I once visited.' Zim hurried the smeet out the door, and dragged him to the bus station.

--

Zim stood in the middle of a glorified dump site looking at ex-Irken military ships. They were all of poor quality, with rust creeping over the plating and cracks in the windows.

'They're all junk.' He said.

The old Vortian he was talking to shrugged. 'These are the only ones in your price range. The ones that will actually get you to space are a good 10,000 monies above what your asking.'

'I'm sure we could come to some sort of deal.' Zim said.

The old Vortian leered. 'I don't usually go for that sort of thing, but if you're offering...' He put his hands on Zims hips.

'Eh? No! Not that.' Zim shook him off. 'I was thinking more of I won't tell Lard Narr what you're doing here if you give me a ship for cheaper.'

'You wouldn't know Lard Narr. Anyway, selling these things is completely legal. They've all been gutted of weapons.'

'Yes, that's legal. But keeping Blorch rats as guard dogs isn't, and I'm sure there's more that you don't want anyone to find out about, like the groups you hold in the basement. What's it called? Blorch baiting?'

The Vortian swallowed hurriedly. 'I'm sure we can come to some sort of deal...maybe 20,000 of the asking price?'

'50,000; and you won't tell anyone I was here.'

He shook his head. '35 off, and complete secrecy.'

'Ok' Zim said, and the vortian led Zim off. Zim grinned. It was good to be in control again.

They made it to the ships that would actually fly, and Zim inspected them closely. They all seemed to be Voot cruisers, Spittle runners, and other such small one-Irken ships. 'Don't you have anything bigger?'

The vortian snorted. 'You don't take up too much space, and the kid's pretty small too. Why would you want something bigger? Anyway, bigger costs more monies, and I don't think you'd have that much.'

Zim sighed, the Vortian was right. Bigger would cost more monies, and would be harder to hide. He looked around at the ships critically, eventually seeing a small prisoner transfer ship. It didn't have any of it's paint left on it, so would be harder to find. It also had separate rooms to keep the prisoners in. He could use those for supplies and as a bedroom for the smeet.

'I'll look at this one,' he said, pointing out the ship.

The Vortian shrugged and opened the door, letting Zim in. Zim went straight to the control panel, and brought up schematics for the engine, and damage reports. It showed minimal damage to the ship, certainly not enough to cause major problems.

'This one will do fine.' Zim said.

'Then come back to the shop and we can sort everything out.' He walked out of the ship and Zim followed him. Soon he would be safe from Lard Narr.

- -- - - - -

I love that word. Mooshminky.


	4. Chapter 4

Lift Elevator

Lift Elevator. Elevator lift. I just swap nouns?

- - - - -- --

Bij sat in Zims lap, staring out at the stars and the quickly receding planet, as Zim piloted away from it.

Zim looked down at the smeet. 'Do you enjoy it out here?'

The smeet looked up at Zim with large eyes and nodded. 'The lights are pretty.' He pointed at Vort. 'It's too small to live on.'

Zim nodded. 'It looks like you could pick it up in a hand, and crush it down.' He looked thoughtful, imaging crushing the planet, and seeing Vortians fleeing for their lives from his giant fingers. 'You can barely see the scars from the canon sweep.' There was still a faint outline of the Invader symbol on the planet below, but it was quickly being covered over with buildings and vegetation.

'When'll we get to Irth?'

Zim shrugged. 'Shouldn't be longer than four months.'

'That's a long time.' the smeet said. To him, a week was a long time. Four months seemed to be forever. 'I'll be all bigger by then.'

Zim looked down at the smeet and raised an antenna. 'You won't be much bigger; you're only four. You need a lot longer to grow to be as big as me.'

The smeet looked up at Zim. 'A year?'

'Maybe twenty of them, maybe more.'

'More than twenty years?' The smeet looked amazed. How could anything take that long?

'Maybe much more. Maybe even thirty or fifty.' Zim loved the shocked look on the smeets face.

'Fifty years?' The smeet asked, a few tears coming to the corners of his eyes as he thought of the length of time that was.

Zim hurriedly tried to fix his mistake. 'But by that time you'd be taller than the Tallest.'

'Really?' The smeets antennae stood up proudly.

'Yep.'

'Wow.'

--

Zim had put the smeet to bed. He had missed his normal mattress, but a thin prison one was adequate. Zim locked the door to the room. He didn't want the smeet getting out, not where they were going. He then opened the door to the other room and looked into it. Completely empty. He had to get supplies to feed the smeet for the trip, and extra in case of delays and for when they were on Earth.

He went to the cockpit and looked out at the station that was a small blob in the distance, but rapidly getting bigger. He sat in the pilots' seat and made landing preparations, slowing down the ship so that they wouldn't crash into the planet, and setting the autopilot to bring them into the entrance bay and find a parking space for him. There was nothing he hated more than circling around trying to find a parking lot, thinking he had found one, then discovering a small one-Irken vessel was there, and so having to continue the circling. A law should be made banning small vehicles.

He rested his feet on the console and waited for the ship to announce his arrival.

--

He had just gotten comfortable when the intercom system spoke. "Welcome to Glorgnax Shopping Complex, the most happyful place in the Galaxies!'

Zim sneered. They really needed to update that greeting. He stepped out of the ship and into a puddle of what he could only hope was engine fluid. The walls of the parking lot were stained with decades of filth, and only the faintest trace of pink stripes could be seen underneath. He walked to the wall and found a map pointing out locations of elevators. There was one just to his right. He walked past rows of ships, ignoring the muffled grunting that was coming from between two of them, and pushed the elevator button. As he waited for the lift to descend, he made a mental list of everything that was needed to be bought, and ignored everyone that walked past. That was the best thing to do in these sorts of places.

He almost let out a sigh of relief when the lift appeared. He was sure that two aliens had been staring at him suspiciously. He stood between a gigantic planetjacker, and a screwhead alien that was just a bit taller than he was. The screwhead saw him and hissed. Zim resisted the urge to shuffle to the side. Irkens weren't liked much anywhere.

When the elevator reached the food level, Zim got off. He looked around at the decrepit signs and the flaking painting. The tiles were cracked and covered in black grime. He walked over to the nearest shop.

'What do you want?' The keeper asked.

'Packaged rations, enough for five months.' Zim replied.

The shop keeper led him through the shop to where he kept the packaged rations. Zim looked at them a frowned. 'These aren't any good. They're all at least 2 years out of date.'

The keeper leaned back and shrugged. 'They're all I've got, and I doubt you'd find anything better anywhere else.'

'You'd have to have in date foods.' Zim was worried. He couldn't give old food to the smeet.

'If I did have them, they'd be too expensive for you.'

Zim lowered his antennae in anger. How dare this alien think it was better than Zim! 'Give Zim good food, or-' He was cut off by the keeper.

'If you threaten me, you won't make it out of the station alive. Now I suggest you either take this food, or try to find somewhere else.'

Zim marched out of the shop, deciding to try somewhere else, while a group of tough looking aliens watched him.

--

3 hours and 15 shops later, Zim hadn't found anything approaching edible. He had even seen food marked with Miyuki's stamp! He leaned against a wall, tired but not wanting to sit on one of the filthy benches that they had around. He also didn't want to let down his guard too much. He had noticed some very shady characters around; they seemed to have been following him from store to store.

A hooded figure came up next to him. 'I hear you're looking for rations.' He said.

Zim looked at the stranger sideways, 'yes.' He answered.

'I've got good rations if you want to follow me.'

Zim was torn. He could follow the stranger, and perhaps get killed, or he could stay here and keep looking.

The stranger saw the indecision on Zims face. 'I over heard some men talking about you. Saying it was strange to see an Irken around here. How somebody out here alone could easily go missing and nobody would notice or care.'

Zim nodded. He thought he had seen some aliens stare at him, and it did seem as if they were following him. 'Okay,' Zim said. 'Show me what you've got.'

--

Zim followed the stranger through many dark alleyways between shops, until they reached a box.

'Here we go.' The stranger said, opening the lid of the box. Inside the box were packages and packages of silver wrapped supplies, all within date, some even carrying the marking of almighty Tallest Bob. Zim picked up one of the packages and inspected it carefully. It all seemed to be good.

'I'll take the box.' He said.

'That's a lot of monies.' The stranger said.

'How much?'

'10,000.'

'5.' Zim knew what haggling was.

'9.'

'5.'

'9.'

'5.'

'I could keep them for someone else...' The stranger said.

'8?'

'8' the stranger agreed, glad because he had only paid 2,000 for the box full. 'And I don't accept credit or cheques.'

Zim nodded, and brought out his cash, putting down 18 piles of one thousand dollars. He then pulled out a transportation cube from his PAK and attached it to the box. It placed the box and all its contents into the small cube and made the entire thing weigh nothing. He then put it back into his PAK.

'Oh, and one more thing.' The stranger said. 'They were working for me.' He then shot Zim while he was trying to figure out what he meant.

- - - -- -- -

Ending it there. Edited while I was tired, so there may be a few problems.


	5. Chapter 5

Zim gasped when he woke up, finding himself lying down with hands holding him and touching him, and started panicking

Zim gasped when he woke up, finding himself lying down with hands holding him and touching him, and started panicking. He thrashed about at the hands. They were always trying to touch him! He opened his eyes and saw one of the strangers from earlier leaning over him, holding his shirt in his hands.

'Shit! We've got a waker!' He yelled.

Zim rolled off what he had been lying on and tried to regain his senses. He growled at the stranger who had been undressing him, and tried to stand up.

'Then knock him out again.' said another stranger, who Zim didn't recognise.

'Come 'ere, you.' The other stranger said, and reached out a hand for Zim. Zim lashed out at it with his claws and created a deep scratch in one of them. The stranger reeled back and looked at the blood leaking from the cut.

Zim looked around and spotted a door. He pulled himself up and ran through it. His mind was clearing of its fuzz, and he realised exactly what sort of place he was in. The room was painted in deep tones, and furnished plushly. There was a half dressed Quixonf standing by the door to welcome people in, and a sign above the reception desk that said "discretion is guaranteed." Zim lowered his antennae. 'Never again.' He growled, and ran out through the main door and into crowded streets.

He pushed between legs, glad for once that he was so short. Anybody chasing him wouldn't be able to spot him in the crowd. He heard a shout and pushed on faster. This area seemed to be much busier than the level that sold food, and he wondered what time it was, hoping that the smeet hadn't woken up and gotten scared. He managed to push himself further into the crowd; past aliens that occasionally tried to grope him, and shops that were either for gambling or prostitution, sometimes both.

Zim remembered what Lard Narr had threatened him with years ago. He could have ended up somewhere like this. He finally made it to an elevator, trembling with fear. He could feel eyes watching him, sizing him up. He wrapped his arms around himself protectively, and stood closer to the doors of the lift, waiting impatiently for it to arrive.

When the lift arrived, after far too long a wait, Zim squeezed in. He stood next to what seemed to be the same screwhead from his previous ride, except this one was wearing a kilt, while the other had been wearing pants. The screwhead looked at him, then sidled closer and said 'how much?'

'How much for what?' Zim asked.

The screwhead pulled on a bracelet Zim hadn't noticed previously. 'For sex.'

'I'm not for sale!' Zim exclaimed, pulling away from the screwhead. They must have put the bracelet on him in that... shop.

'Not even for 2000 monies?'

Zim stopped. 2000 monies was a lot, and it wasn't like he hadn't done anything like this before. Not exactly picked up strangers for sex, but he had been used so many times, who it was really didn't bother him anymore. 'Cam I get the money first?' Zim asked.

The elevator stopped at the ship deck. 'Let's go back to my ship and we can discuss things.' The screwhead said. He then led Zim to his ship, opened the door and let Zim inside first.

Zim looked about the ship. It didn't look very big; in fact it was just two rooms, one as the cockpit, and the other for living, with sleeping and food preparation areas. Zim frowned.

The screwhead pulled the bed down from the wall, and sat down on it, patting next to him for Zim to sit down. Zim stayed standing up. 'The monies?' He said.

The screwhead rolled his eyes and pulled a wad of notes from a drawer by the bed. Zim counted them out, nodded, then put them in his PAK. He then sat down on the bed next to the screwhead.

'Do you mind if I'm rough with you?'

Zim shrugged. 'Only if you don't leave bruises.' That had been an arrangement he had held with Lard Narr. No bruises, no cutting.

'Good.' The screwhead said, pushing Zim down onto his back, then he pinned Zims' wrists in one hand and pulled his pants off with the other. He then touched Zims' crotch gently, rubbing his fingers up and down until Zim opened up. He spent a couple of seconds putting protection on, because who knew what sort of diseases a whore would be carrying? Then he thrust in.

Zim gasped. This was a very strange feeling. The creatures kilt was rubbing against his stomach, and he had a very differently shaped appendage to lard Narr. Kind of thin, and bumpy.

The screwhead grinned at Zims reaction, then placed a hand on the side of his face and pushed his head down onto the pillow. He didn't press too hard, not wanting to bruise the Irken, but hard enough for some discomfort to be felt. It felt good to be in a position of power over one of them after so many years of subjugation.

Zim growled. He hated being restrained during sex. It reminded him too much of being tied to the bed, so he pushed against the hands holding his hands down, only to have the screwhead put all his weight on them crushing them into his chest, and pushing his ribs down as well. 'Let go of my hands.' he growled.

The screwhead looked down and realised he was crushing the Irken, so loosened his grip and leaned his weight off them. Zim relaxed. That was slightly better. He rubbed his leg up and down the screwheads' side, tightening his muscles sporadically to try and get the alien to climax faster.

The screwhead gasped. How did the Irken know that his sides were soft spots? He started thrusting faster, bringing his hand from Zims' face to stroke his thighs and encourage the rubbing.

Zim got the message and started rubbing the screwheads' sides with his other leg, convulsively tightening and loosening his inner walls to hurry the alien up. He wanted to get back to the ship and see his smeet. He also had to make sure that he still had the box of rations with him, though only an idiot would go through the very depths of an Irkens PAK.

Zim felt the alien tense and hold his hands tighter, climaxing a few seconds later, and falling down next to Zim. He looked at the alien, then sat up, found his pants, pulled them on and left the ship.

- - - -- - -

The next chapter will be short.


	6. Chapter 6

Lard Narr returned home that evening carrying a big box of cupcakes

Lard Narr returned home that evening carrying a big box of cupcakes. He opened the door, and was surprised when Bij didn't come running up to greet him, but just decided that Zim had put him to bed early. He closed the door behind him. 'Zim.' He called out, not really expecting a reply. 'Zim? I'm sorry about last night, Zim.' He waited for a few minutes started to get worried when he didn't get a reply. Zim would usually come out, berating him. He walked into the kitchen and put the box on the table. 'Zim?' He called out again, starting to get worried. 'Bij?'

He walked up the stairs to Bij's bedroom, getting more worried when he saw the door was open. He looked inside the room. Bij wasn't there, and his bed hadn't been made. He felt his heart skip a beat. Something must have happened to them. He then ran from room to room, calling out Zim's and Bij's names. He was panicking by the time he made it back to the kitchen. Maybe one of the organisations that were against the Vortian government had kidnapped them. He was about to call the law enforcers when he noticed a piece of paper on the table.

"Lard Narr." it said. "I can't stay here, so I've taken the smeet and gone. Zim."

Lard Narr sat down on the floor, then he leaned against the wall and cried into his hands.

--

Zim opened the door into the ship and walked to the smeets room. He unlocked the door and looked inside. The smeet was still sleeping, so Zim quietly grabbed a clean shirt from his bag of clothes and pulled it on over his head.

'Mummy?' The smeet asked, waking up at Zims entrance. 'Where were you?'

Zim looked at the smeet, annoyed at himself for having woken it up. He sat on the bed next to the smeet and stroked it's head, feeling the hard lumps where his horns were. 'I was getting us more food. Go back to sleep.' Zim felt the smeet nod it's head, then relax into unconsciousness.

Zim quietly tiptoed out of the room and closed the door, then he pulled the transportation cube out of his PAK and opened it in the other room, for the box of food to be deposited. He then went up to the front of the ship and started it, leaving the station far behind, and settling in for the long ride to Earth.

- -- - -- - -- - -

Told you it was short.


	7. Chapter 7

Lard Narr got up unsteadily from the floor, wiping tears away from his eyes

Lard Narr got up unsteadily from the floor, wiping tears away from his eyes. He would have to find Zim and convince him to come back. It wouldn't be easy, both the finding and convincing, but he would try anyway.

He needed to know where Zim had gone. He wouldn't stay on Vort. Irkens weren't liked much, and Bij was too conspicuous. If Zim ran into anyone who recognised Bij, they would both be sent back home. It had happened before, and he was sure that Zim would have learnt not to do it again. At least, not three times. Maybe.

He frowned. Who would know where Zim had gone? Maybe that scientist he called occasionally. What was his name? 777, or something?

He walked over to the communicator and looked up the previous called people, calling the number labelled "777." A purplish Vortian picked up. 'You're not Zim.' He said.

'Are you 777?'Lard Narr asked.

'I do have a name. I'm not just 777.'

'So you are 777.'

'Yes.' 777 replied. 'What do you want?'

Lard Narr was a bit taken aback by the attitude. He was usually respected by Vortians and other species as well. 'I wanted to know if you had spoken to Zim lately.'

777 perked up a little. 'Why? What did you do to him?' 777 respected what Lard narr had done for the vortians, and everybody else that the Irkens had subjugated; but he didn't approve of how he treated Zim. Zim often called 777 asking if he would help him and the smeet get away, and for other things.

'What?' lard narr asked. 'I didn't do anything to him; he ran away. I thought you might know where he would have gone.'

'How would I know? He's been going on about leaving for years, but he's never told me anything specific. And if he had, I wouldn't be telling you.'

'Years?' Lard narr asked. But Zim had always been so happy, or at least content. He had never seemed to be about to run away.

'Yes. Now, I need to eat, so...' he trailed off, hinting at Lard narr that the conversation was over.

Lard Narr hung up, then thought for a bit and placed a call to his office. Even though it was late in the day, somebody would be there.

'Hello, Lard Narr.' a pretty young Vortian answered his call. 'What are you calling for this late?'

'Hi, Rekk Naeir. I was just calling to see how much more leave I could take.' He watched her spin around to face a computer screen and type for a bit. By Vort she was cute. If she was just a bit older and he didn't have Bij to look after, and now Zim to find, he would have taken her home and made her scream in pleasure.

'You have two months of leave left, but you know nobody would complain if you took more. Why are you interested; has something happened?'

Lard narr nodded. 'It's Zim.'

'Another miscarriage?' She asked.

Lard Narr winced. It wasn't a secret that Zim had had two unsuccessful pregnancies since they had had Bij. They were compatible enough to create an embryo, but it usually didn't survive past three months. Bij had just been a one in a hundred chance creation. It always hurt him, the thought that his carelessness or forgetfulness had not only caused Zim to go through pain, but also caused another of his offspring to die. 'No. He's run away and I need to get him back. I don't think two months would be long enough to find him.'

'Oh.' She said. 'I'm sorry. Maybe you could get someone else to find him?'

'No. I need to apologise directly to him.'

She frowned, thinking of a way that Lard Narr could look for Zim without getting fired for being too long from work.

Lard Narr concentrated hard, trying to not stare at her. She was so cute when she frowned, and got a little crinkle on her forehead. He shook his head to distract himself from those thoughts.

'We could send the reports to you directly. You don't need to be here to read the notes, and you can always send your final copies back to us.'

Lard narr nodded slowly. The reports were all in electronic form anyway. Only really important things were written on paper, and even those could be sent via teleport. 'I'll take the two months leave. When those two months are up, I'll contact you with my contact details so I can work and search.'

She typed all those instructions into the computer. 'Goodbye, then. I expect we'll see you in two months then.'

He nodded, said his goodbyes and turned off the view screen. Now he would have to try and figure out where Zim had gone.

--

After an hour of thinking, he had narrowed the choices of where Zim would have gone to two locations; Irk and that strange planet Zim had mentioned years back; Irth. Lard Narr decided he would go to Irk first, because it was closer than Irth, and it would be easier to find him there, using contacts he had there. He yawned loudly. He would go to Irk first thing in the morning. For now, he would sleep.

- -- -- - --

This was shorter, but I made it longer, and it seems to flow easier now. I'm happy about it.

This is the last of the chapters that I've already written, so the next one may take some time to get out.


	8. Chapter 8

I've a feeling this story will be longer than my previous one

I've a feeling this story will be longer than my previous one.

- - -- -- -- -- -

A month later...

Zim smiled at the smeet. He was getting quite used to staying in the ship all day and all night, and hadn't mentioned Lard Narr for two days. The smeet was also learning about different places, because Zim explained each part of space as they went through it, and also talked about Irken history in the times when they weren't anywhere interesting.

Zim felt is stomach lurch and got off the pilots seat that he was sitting on. 'Stay here, smeet, and don't touch anything.' He went into the back of the ship and vomited into the waste receptacle, then pressed a button to clean it out into space. This had happened twice so far, and it couldn't be because the food was off. He had been relying on nutrients from his PAK to survive. He shuddered then went into the bedroom and slumped onto the bed, holding his stomach.

Zim lay like that for a few minutes before the smeet entered the room. 'Are you okay, Mummy?'

Zim nodded, not feeling very well at all, but not wanting the smeet to know.

'Are you going to phone the Vortian soon?' The smeet asked.

Zim frowned. 'What do you mean by that?' What was the smeet talking about? What vortian, and why would he phone him?

'Every time you get sick, you phone the strange Vortian man, and then he sends you something.'

'Oh.' Zim said. The smeet meant 777.

'And then you hold your tummy and phone daddy, and then you go to hospital and daddy gets angry.'

Zim was surprised the smeet knew so much. He had only done it twice, and he was sure he put the smeet in a separate room before calling 777. 'Daddy's not going to be angry any more.' Zim said, for want of anything better to say.

The smeet nodded, then crawled in bed next to Zim. He wrapped his small arms around Zim as far as he could, and cuddled up to his chest. 'I miss Daddy.'

Zim nodded distractedly, wrapping his arms around the smeet and thinking hard. He couldn't be pregnant. Not again. Anyway, the last time they had both been using protection. He couldn't really remember the time before that, except that a lot of alcohol had been involved. He shook his head and held the smeet tighter. Maybe he was. Should he just go back to Lard Narr, hope he didn't get beaten for running away again, and contact 777 for more smeet poison? But then he would never get another chance to leave. Lard Narr would probably put a tracking device on the smeet and get one placed in Zims PAK.

Zim shuddered and thought harder. He wouldn't go back to Lard Narr. Maybe he should just try and kill the smeet here. Hope he survived through the pain of the miscarriage and didn't die, leaving Bij all alone out here. He looked down at the smeet in his arms and smiled. The smeet was dozing happily, lying in Zims' arms. Zim stroked his antennae. Maybe he could keep the smeet. Give birth to it on Earth. He would have to make sure no doctors studied it after he had it. And he would have to give birth to it without any help, but he could do that. He was amazing, even if he had forgotten that lately.

He kissed the top of Bij's head. 'You're going to have a little sibling soon.' He muttered, glad the smeet was asleep and couldn't hear him.

Bij smiled and moved closer to Zim. He didn't know what a sibling was, but he could help but feel excited about getting one.

--

Lard Narr sat looking through records of Operation Impending Doom II in Irks' main archival building. There was plenty about the missions of invader Larb, Skoodge, Tenn, Spleen, Zee and all the others, but no records on Zims' mission. Apparently the tallest had just laughed at his transmissions then deleted them. And since there were no records of Zims "mission", there were no records of Irth.

Lard Narr sighed and rubbed the base of his horns. He had been here for what felt like weeks, just getting through beaurocratic red tape so he could enter the archives and try to find out where Irth was.

A small Irken came up to Lard Narr, carrying a dusty repairs and maintenance log disc. 'Ummmm, Sir.' he said.

Lard Narr looked down at the Irken. 'Yes?'

'I found something that you might find helpful.' He handed the disc to Lard Narr.

Lard Narr took it and placed it in a reader, searching for Irth. The short Irken popped up behind him and said, 'it's spelt Earth.'

Lard narr shooed it away, then typed in the correct spelling. 1 entry appeared.

"Engine hi-jacked and forced to travel to Earth (co-ordinates: 66v8n-74rv98j532-05hd83777991). Engine replaced with that from an unidentified ship belonging to rebel group 'Resisty'."

Lard Narr smiled. Not only had he found Earth, but he was mentioned in the logs of the Massive. Well, maybe not him specifically, but it was his unidentified resistance ship and his rebel group. He looked at the co-ordinates again, and was glad he had taken extended leave from his work, it would take him at least 6 months to get there. He made a note of the co-ordinates, then left the building to head for his ship, then Earth.

- -- -- - -

I promise I will try and make the next chapter longer.

I don't really like this chapter. Don't know why, just don't like it.


	9. Chapter 9

2 months later

2 months later...

The ship touched down in the middle of the night in a heavily forested area. A short green alien exited, followed closely by a shorter bluish-green alien.

The smeet shivered and clutched at Zims leg tightly. 'It's cold out here.' He said.

Zim nodded. It wasn't as cold as it could be on Earth, but it was colder than the climate controlled interior of the ship was. 'Go back and get another shirt, then.' The smeet hurried off.

Zim pulled two small alien devices from his PAK. He stared at them in his hand, until the smeet ran out and grabbed his legs. He looked down at the smeet that was grinning up at him, wearing a much too large human jumper.

Zim placed one of the alien devices on a metal chain. 'Smeet, pay close attention to what I have to say.' Zim spoke as if talking to GIR. 'You have to wear this chain all the time, unless I say you can take it off. Don't let anyone else take it off you, except for me.' The smeet nodded. 'This will hide you from the humans, so they don't know we're aliens. If you take it off, they might find us and hurt us. This is very important.' The smeet nodded again, now slightly scared.

'Good.' Zim said, and slipped the chain over the smeets neck. The smeet instantly changed into a small human boy with an unruly mop of black hair and big blue eyes. Zim nodded approvingly. The smeet looked exactly like a human. This was another thing he would have to thank 777 for.

Zim put his own one on, and looked down at himself. He had been forced to take on the female form due to the smeet growing inside him. He shuddered. The human female form was even more repulsive than the male one. They had things sticking out from their chest. And too many fingers, though all humans had that. Why hadn't the humans evolved nice flat bodies like Irkens had? Zim patted his clothes down, letting his hand rub gently on the bump that was developing in his stomach.

'We've got to go into town.' Zim said, holding the smeets hand and setting off through the forest.

--

It was midday by the time they reached the town. The smeet kept on having to rest, and Zim didn't have the stamina he used to either.

Zim stopped when he reached the main road and looked at the shops lined along it. He would have to go to a "real estate" agency to get a house. He couldn't just move into an empty one, because the police might be called, and their cover would be blown.

The smeet leaned against Zims leg when he stopped and yawned. He tried to stay standing, but his eyes were closing, and he was so tired. 'Mummy.' he said. 'I'm tired.'

Zim looked down and saw the smeet was struggling to stay awake. He picked him up, and started walking, looking for a real estate agent.

He found the agency and walked in. There was a woman sitting behind a counter. She was talking on the phone, and looked up when Zim entered. She gave him a dismissive glance, then went back to her conversation. 'Yeah, I know. He was so nice... I can't believe it either...'

Zim set the smeet down on the chair provided. The smeet opened his eyes for a few seconds, then went back to sleep. Zim then went up to the counter and looked at the woman sitting behind it.

She looked back at Zim. She put her hand over the receiver and said, 'if you're looking for your mummy, she's not here.' She then went back to talking on the phone.

Zim frowned. 'I'm looking to rent a house.'

'Look,' she said into the phone. 'I've gotta go. There's a customer or something.' She then hung up. 'Aren't you too young to be looking for a house?'

'No.'

She shrugged. 'Whatever. I'll get Mr. Grove out here so you can talk to him, take a seat over there.' She waved a hand towards the chairs.

Zim went over to the chairs and sat down, running his hand through the smeets hair. Soon enough Mr. Grove came out. He saw Zim and blinked, then quickly got over is surprise. 'You must be looking for a rental property. We have a large selection here, perfect for, uh, young families, and able to cater for any budget. If you would like to step this way, I'll show you our selection.' He indicated his office.

Zim looked over at the smeet, who was sleeping peacefully. 'Make sure the reception drone looks after my sm- child.' he said.

Mr. Grove nodded. 'Sure. Lucy, make sure the kid's safe.'

Lucy looked at Bij for a few seconds, then continued on with a game of solitaire she had up on the computer.

Mr. Grove went into his office and Zim followed. 'I expect you're looking for something small and cheap?' he asked.

Zim nodded. 'And something that's central to town.'

Mr. Grove nodded. I think we have the perfect thing for you. It's a three bedroom, one bathroom house. 5 minutes walk from the primary skool, 10 minutes walk from the shops. It doesn't have a big yard, but it's close to the park, so your son can get plenty of exercise. I've got some pictures of it here.' He searched among papers on his desk, then pulled out a file. It had pictures of a small, weatherboard, two story house.

Zim looked at the pictures. It looked like a nice house. 'Do you have any pictures of the inside of the house?' He asked.

The realtor grinned. 'Even better, I'll take you there. You can have a look at it for yourself. If you'll just follow me.' He left the room, with Zim following.

When they were out in the reception area, Zim poked the smeet. '_Wake up, smeet_.'

The smeet blearily opened his eyes, then lifted up his arms for Zim to carry him. Before Zim could pick him up, though, Mr. Grove did. 'Come on, little man. Let's give your mama a rest. We're just going out to my car.' He said to Zim.

He led them out to his 4-wheel drive. 'It won't take us that long, and then, if you like it, we can come back here, and you can sign the papers.' He stopped for a few seconds. 'I never did ask your name. I'm Ret Grove, but you can call me Ret.' He unlocked his car, then opened the passenger side door for Zim to enter.

Zim was thinking fast. 'I'm Zim... Narr. And this is Bij.' He pointed to the smeet sleeping in Rets arms.

Ret laughed and handed Bij back to Zim. 'He sure is sleepy.' He started the car. 'Now, then Mrs..?' He trailed off, and not getting an answer in either the positive or the negative, continued, 'Mrs Narr-'

'Zim.'

'Zim, what brought you here? This isn't exactly a well known area.'

Zim nodded. 'That's good.'

Ret looked over at Zim. 'Oh' he said, quickly trying to change the conversation. If somebody wanted to be hidden, you didn't pry. 'How old's little Bij?'

'Four.' Zim answered.

'I guess he'll be starting skool at the beginning of the year, then.'

Zim nodded. He had forgotten that Bij was school aged.

'Here we are.' Ret said, pulling off the road and into the driveway of the house that had been in the photographs. He pulled out a set of keys and opened the front door. 'As you can see, the house is fully furnished.'

Zim walked in behind him, carrying Bij. He nearly dropped the smeet in surprise. Ret grabbed a hold of the smeet before Zim dropped him. The house looked like someone had been living here just the other week. As Ret led Zim in a tour of the house, Zim couldn't help but notice everything. There were lounges and a TV in the living room, there was a table in the dining area, there were whitegoods in the kitchen, there were beds in the bedroom. Plus all the other little pieces of furniture that made up a house. Little tables in odd places, shelves on walls, and more places to put things on. And he couldn't see a single thing wrong with the structure of the house. No cracks, no damp, no leaks, no other slight flaws that could cause fatal damage in a house.

'How much does it cost to rent?' He asked, when Ret had finished the tour.

'165 per week, plus a 2000 bond that you have to pay upfront.'

Zim's eyes practically fell out of his head. So little for such a good house. 'Why is it so cheap?'

Ret looked indecisive, as if fighting a mental battle with himself over whether or not to tell Zim. 'If you're going to live here, you'll find out eventually.' He said. 'Two years ago, a group of teens were renting this place. One of them got it into her head to kill the other ones. Nobody knows why. But they all turned up dead one morning. It was a triple murder suicide. The parents didn't want any of the furniture, they just took the personal objects and left everything else behind.'

Zim looked at him for a few moments. 'Yes, but why is the house so cheap?'

'Nobody wants to live in a house that people have been killed in.'

'Oh.' Zim said. 'I'll take it.'

-- - -- -- -

Wow. This is long. It's an apology for all the short chapters.


	10. Meet the Neighbours

I never thought I'd ask this, but

I never thought I'd ask this, but...

If you fave or story alert this, please leave a review.

-- -- -- - -- -- - -

Zim woke the smeet up the next morning. 'Wake up smeet.' He shook his shoulder.

'But I'm tired.' Bij whined, and rolled over.

Zim sighed. 'You need to get up. It's 10:00, and we've got visitors.'

'Visitors?' He asked, sitting up.

Zim nodded, and started getting clothes out for him to wear.

--

Five minutes later Zim lead the smeet to the living room. 'This is Mrs. Angor. She lives next door.' He gestured towards the woman who had hurriedly sat back down on the lounge after being caught looking through the drawers.

Bij looked at the woman in wonder. This was the first human he had seen up close, not counting Zims disguise, and he had been too tired the day before to really see the humans. And this was quite a human to see as his first experience. She was overweight and soft looking, with baggy skin that was causing creases on her face.

He tugged on Zims pants leg. Zim picked him up, and he whispered _'she looks funny._'

Zim laughed lightly. 'What did he say?' Mrs Angor asked.

'Ummm,' Zim said, trying to think of something. 'He's just very shy around new people.' That was an excuse he had heard parents at the skool use.

The woman nodded and smiled. 'Why don't you have a muffin?' She held out a basket filled with muffins that she had brought as a house-warming gift.

The smeet looked up at Zim questioningly. Zim nodded and picked out an apple muffin, which, after a quick inspection, he handed to the smeet.

'It must be hard for you, being a single mother. Can I ask you what happened to Mr. Narr?'

Zim froze at the question. 'I don't like to talk about him.'

'When is daddy going to find us?' The smeet asked around a mouth full of muffin.

'He's not.' Zim said brusquely.

Mrs. Angor blushed. 'I'm sorry for bringing it up. I shouldn't pry.'

Zim shrugged. 'It doesn't matter anymore.'

'If you need any help, with Bij, or with your ex, I'm always here. We're always here.'

Zim raised an eyebrow at that. 'We?'

'Are you a religious woman, Zim?'

Zim thought back. He had studied religion for his mission, and decided it would be a useful device for creating an army of followers for himself and the Irken Empire, but he didn't have any personal feeling towards it. 'Not really.' he said.

'We're just a small town here, but you'd be welcomed into the church at any time. We have quite a few women of your... type in the congregation. Even if you don't come, I'll make sure a prayer is said for you and Bij.'

Zim frowned. What did she mean by his type? 'No. I don't think I'll come, but, uh, thankyou for the prayer.' He remembered his manners at the last minute. It wouldn't do to get on the towns bad side just yet. 'And what do you mean my type?'

'Just women who have left their husbands, or their partners, or who have children who don't have a father.' She looked sad for a moment, then smiled. 'Why don't you tell me about yourself?'

Zim relaxed. This would be a perfect time to use out his cover story. 'I grew up in a small town in the North East of America, I joined the army when I was 20. I met Lard, Bijs' father, when I was 22, then I fell pregnant, we got married and moved to his hometown. I left a few months ago, and now we're here.' it had taken Zim most of the time he was travelling here to think that up, and he was very proud of it.

'Oh.' Mrs. Angor said. 'I'm so sorry.' Zim frowned what was she sorry for? 'It must have been so hard for you, stationed overseas during the war.'

Zims antennae rose in surprise, but were hidden by his disguise. 'Oh, I was stationed on home turf during the war. You know how they feel about women in the forces.' Zim laughed softly. Thank the tallest for earthen sexism. That would never happen if they bred in tubes, but you did miss some things when you were born from a tube.

Mrs. Angor nodded. 'I understand. My son was in the war, and said he never saw a single woman on active duty, and I can't say I'm sad about it. It may seem like I'm old fashioned, but I've been living here for my entire life, and I've never wanted to leave. I met my poor, dear Alf here, God rest his soul. My children have all moved on, to the big cities. I could never stand them, too many people and you can never know them all. It's all so heartless in big cities.'

Zim nodded. Not agreeing in the slightest. He much preferred big cities to backwater areas like Earth. He wished he could get this woman out of here quicker, she was so boring. The smeet tugged on his shirt. 'Can I go play?'

'Only if you stay in the house.' The smeet grinned and ran off.

'He's so small. They're beautiful when they're that age.' Zim nodded. 'And I guess you'll be having another one soon?' She looked at him knowingly.

Zim looked down at his stomach. He hadn't thought he was that visible, but he was 6 months through the pregnancy. 'I've got 4 months left.'

Mrs. Angor nodded, then asked, 'Is it your husbands?'

Zim stared at her. How dare she accuse him of having multiple partners! Sure, there had been that time in the space port, and he had once kissed 777, but Lard Narr had started it by groping that secretary. He opened his mouth to shout just what he thought at that disgusting human, when a large crash was heard from one of the adjoining rooms. They both looked over in surprise. Bij came into view eventually, his eyes lined with wetness.

'I didn't mean to.' he said.

Zim rushed over and picked him up. 'Don't cry, smeet. It's not good to cry.' The smeet nodded.

'I'll let myself out.' Mrs. Angor said quickly, getting up and leaving.

Zim waited until she was out of the house before hugging the smeet closer. 'That's a good boy for making her leave. Now, we need some food, so we are going on your first shopping trip on earth.'

- -- -- -- - -

In here was a plot bunny. I have a whole lot of them in a folder somewhere, plus uncompleted stories.


	11. Chapter 11

Bij was looking around in awe as he and Zim walked down the street to the supermarket

Bij was looking around in awe as he and Zim walked down the street to the supermarket. 'What's that?' he asked, pointing to a car.

'That's a car.' Zim answered boredly. The smeet had been pointing things out and asking about them for the entire five minute journey.

The smeet pointed to another thing going past. 'What's that?'

'That's a dog.' Zim answered. 'Don't get too close to it, or it'll hurt you. Now stop asking questions or we'll be noticed.' He pulled the smeet along faster towards the supermarket.

'_Why can't the humans notice us_?'

'Because if they do, they'll kill us, and you should speak human in public.' The smeet nodded and grabbed closer to Zim. Zim ruffled his hair. 'That's a good smeet.'

'Sometimes it's hard to remember to speak human.'

Zim stopped. 'All you have to do is concentrate, and the machine will do everything else. You've got to concentrate harder.' The smeet nodded. He would concentrate harder from now on.

They got to the supermarket less than a minute later, which caused Bij to go on another spree of asking questions. Zim answered them the best he could, but soon the questions just started piling on top of each other. 'Please stop talking, Bij.' Zim said 'You'll get used to everything.'

Bij knew to stop talking then. When mummy said please, it was either do what was asked, or get yelled at. He didn't like it when his parents yelled, so he stopped talking.

Zim pulled a shopping trolley out of the bay and sat the smeet in the child compartment. 'Don't move around too much in this. They tip over easily.' At least, they did when GIR was rushing from one side to the other, screaming about what he wanted. That was the first shop he had ever been evicted from. Smiling at the fond memories, Zim entered the building.

When they entered the store, Bij looked around in amazement. He had never been grocery shopping before. There was so much noise and colour, and there were lots and lots of humans everywhere. And they were all so tall! He couldn't see any that were the same height as Zim, and the shortest wasn't much shorter than Lard Narr. 'Look at all the humans, mummy.'

Zim looked around, trying not to let the disgust show on his face. They're hideous, aren't they... Wait!' He yelled, earning a few glances from other shoppers. 'You,' he said, poking a worker. 'Are those signs telling the truth?'

The employee looked around worriedly. She was just trying to get some extra money during the holidays for new shoes. She had never expected to have to talk to the customers. 'The back to skool signs? Yeah.'

'How far away is skool time?' Zim asked. He would have to get Bij into the skool, so as not to arouse suspicion.

'Skool starts again next Tuesday. It's Wednesday now.'

Zim took a step back and nodded, then grabbed his trolley and walked off. 'We have to get you into skool, smeet. When we've finished shopping, you shall be enrolled into classes.'

Bij frowned. 'But I don't have to have lessons for two more years on Vort, why do I have to go to skool now?'

'Because it's what humans would do. All human smeets start skool when they're four, and so do you.'

Bij kicked his feet. 'I don't like being a human.'

Zim looked around 'nobody does. Vegetables first, then the dry goods.' he muttered as an afterwards.

He looked around at all the fruit and vegetables, trying to remember what was harmful and what was safe. 'Potatoes are good, and so are pumpkins, but not lettuce.' He muttered to himself, picking up the odd vegetable and putting it in the trolley.

Bij looked at them as they went in, and tried to repeat whet Zim said. 'Potatoes, pumkin, let-us.' They went around the rest of the shop like that, but the routine came to halt when Zim threw some matches into the now very full trolley.

Bij picked them up and looked at the character on the box. 'Look mummy! It looks like daddy!'

Zim looked around hurriedly, in case a human had noticed, but the aisle was empty. He picked up the box and glanced at it. 'It's just a human fantasy creature, nothing to worry about.'

'It's got horns like daddy.'

Zim took another look at the box, and tried to remember his human mythology. 'And the same kind of temper, too.' He put the box back on the shelf. 'Why don't we get another brand?' He picked up a neutral label and threw it in the trolley. 'Matches...'

--

Zim sighed when they exited the building. Not only did he have a long walk back, but his back was starting to hurt from the pregnancy and pushing the trolley. He pulled Bij out of the trolley. 'You'll have to walk on the way back home, smeet.'

Bij nodded. 'Where did you get all the monies from?'

Zim shrugged. 'The stock exchange, Swiss bank accounts, and skimming cents off other people back accounts. I'll teach you how to do it when you're older.' He walked off through the car park. 'The humans systems are very simple to crack, if you know how. Everything's scattered in different places, so there's no central system to check everything.'

He made it to the road and watched the cars go past. 'We'll be home soon, smeet. Then I can rest.'

Bij nodded. 'And I can get into skool.'

- - -- -- - -

I have to stop myself from calling Bij "the smeet" so often. It shows, too.


	12. Chapter 12

Really, I'm just lazy

Really, I'm just lazy.

- -- -- - --

Bij came running down the stairs to see Zim sitting on the couch watching the television. Zim raised an antenna at the smeet. 'I told you not to run down the stairs.'

Bij stopped to consider this for a moment, then ran over to Zim and jumped into his lap. 'I'm going to kindergarten today!'

Zim looked at a clock. 'Not for another 2 hours. Can't you go back to bed?'

Bij shook his head. 'I'm too excited to sleep'

Zim hugged the smeet. 'Why don't I make us some waffles, and you stay here?'

The smeet nodded, and sat watching the TV.

--

Half an hour later Bij sat in front of a great big stack of waffles.

Zim was sitting behind his own stack. He swallowed a piece of waffle, then looked at the smeet. 'What do you have to do when you're there?'

'Ummm... I'b god do-'

'Swallow your food first.'

'I've got to be polite, I've got to keep the necklace on, I've got to speak human all the time, I can't talk about Vort or space, or aliens, I can't go near water and, ummm...'

'Try not to talk too much about before we got here. That's very good, Bij.' Zim thought for a bit longer. 'Do you remember your last name?'

Bij nodded and swallowed another piece of waffle. 'Narr.'

--

One and a half hours later, during which time Zim had fussed over Bij's preparation, his disguise, his clothes, what he was taking with him, as well as making him a sandwich that he could eat at skool, they were outside the gates. Bij was suffering from a sudden onset of shyness, and was clinging to Zims' leg. 'I don't want to go. Don't leave me with the humans.'

'You have to go. I'll be back for you later.' Zim tried to pull Bij off his leg.

'_No, no. don't make me go.' _

A woman walked up to them. 'Is this his first day?'

Zim looked up. 'Yes. Who are you?'

'I'm Evelyn Walters, I teach kindy here.' She knelt down. 'Hello, and what's you're name?'

Bij looked up. 'Bij' he said softly.

She smiled. 'Well there, Bij, do you want your mom to walk with you into class?' He shook his head. 'Why not?'

'I want to go home.'

Zim sighed. He blamed the Vortian part of Bij for this. No Irkens ever got like this. 'I told you, you can't stay at home with me.'

'You're mom will be here in a few hours to pick you up again. Don't you want to play with the other children?'

Bij looked up and nodded. 'I want to meet the others.'

'Then you have to come to class.'

Zim held out his hand for the smeet to hold, then walked him to the class, following the teacher. When they got there, a few children were there already, being watched over by an old woman with white hair and glasses.

Bij looked at them. He tugged on Zims pants. 'Can I go and play?' He asked.

Zim nodded. 'Remember what I told you.' The smeet nodded and ran off. 'He's not usually this shy.'

'Don't worry, it's just first day shyness. Most children are like that on their first day. He'll be over it by tomorrow.'

Zim nodded and said goodbye, then left, planning to research "first day shyness."

--

It was the afternoon, and Zim was standing outside the skool, with a lot of other parents. He looked around, but couldn't spot the smeet, not even with his superior Irken eyes. 'Bij?' he called over the noise of the crowd.

He eventually spotted the smeet holding hands with a little girl, who was still bigger than him. Zim gasped at the sight. Why was his smeet holding hands with anyone? How dare the humans pervert him after so short a time on the planet. He raced over to them.

'Bij!' he shouted, and hugged him, 'how was your first day?'

Bij smiled. 'It was great mum! I made a friend.'

Zim glanced at the girl. 'So you did.' Disgusting humans.

He heard a slight coughing behind and to the right of him, and saw a man standing there. 'You must be Bij's mom.'

'Yes,' Zim said. 'I am.' he paused for a second 'I'm Zim.'

'I'm Girt, Hax's Dad, and I can't begin to tell you how glad I am that she found a friend here.'

Zim didn't know why he was so pleased, from observations he had decided that children made friends pretty easily.

'Maybe we could set up a play date for them some time, so that-'

'What!' Zim screeched out. First holding hands and now a date! The smeet was only four! And if Zim had his way, Bij would never date a human if he lived there for the rest of his life.

'Yeah, I take my daughter to your house or you take your son to mine, they play together... A play date.'

'Oh.' Zim said, 'of course Zi- I knew you meant that,' he coughed. Mustn't draw attraction to himself. 'Well, why don't we set it for Saturday?'

'OK,' Girt smiled. 'I'll probably see you tomorrow after noon.'

Zim smiled politely and said goodbye, then grabbed Bij's hand and pulled him off. 'Bye Hax!' Bij screamed.

'Bye Bij!' Hax called back, waving happily.

Zim looked down at Bij as he pulled him through the crowd. 'Why don't you tell me how your day went?'

Bij looked up at Zim and started a long tale of meeting the other students, listening to stories, and playing games.

Zim wondered why his days at Skool had never been like that.

- - -- -- --

Yay! This chapter's done! The difference between morning and afternoon is because they were written on different days.

I wear, I will try to make these chapters longer, but not much is happening.


	13. play date

Zim pulled the smeet along the road on the Saturday

Zim pulled the smeet along the road on the Saturday. 'You have to go, smeet.'

'But I don't want to. She's scary.' He looked up at Zim with wide eyes. 'Please mummy, don't make me go.'

'You have to go. It's to help us blend in, and none of the other worm children have shown any interest in being your friends.'

'Why do I need friends? I want to be a soldier like you were when I grow up, and friends only weigh you down.'

Zim raised an eyebrow. The smeet had far too good hearing. 'Think of it as part of the mission. We're trying to stay undercover, and you making friends is part of this. I don't want to go either, but I need to interact with the humans as well.'

'The other kids make fun of my accent.'

Zim frowned. His vortian accent was very strong. 'Well, you don't have to play with them.'

'Ok.'

A few minutes of walking in silence brought them to a large house. Zim checked the address on the letter box against the address on the piece of paper he had in his hand, then dragged the smeet up to the front door. He was slightly worried about this. The house looked very big, and clean, and expensive. It looked almost nicer than Lard Narrs house, and he had a good house. He knocked on the door, then noticed the bell. He pretended he hadn't, and knocked again.

'Maybe they're not there?' The smeet asked hopefully. He wanted to go home, there were some fun cartoons on. Zim didn't approve of them, but he allowed the smeet to watch them.

The door opened, and Girt looked out. 'Hello Zim, hey Bij. I didn't expect you this early.'

Zim read his internal clock. 'It's 11:30'

'It is?' Girt looked at his watch. 'So it is. Why don't you come in, we were just having breakfast.' He paused, 'I guess it's lunch now.' He opened the door wider and let them in. 'Hax, your friend's here.'

A blonde head came running out from the kitchen. 'Bij!' She picked him up in a great big hug. 'Come and have breakfast with us.' She pulled him away.

Bij cast a longing look towards Zim. Why did his mum put him through this? Zim just gave him a great big grin. 'Enjoy your breakfast, sm- Bij.'

'Why don't you come and have lunch with us too, Zim.' He gestured Zim into the kitchen.

Zim followed him, and was amazed at the kitchen. It was so clean, and shining. He had never seen a kitchen this clean before. On the table were waffles, and fruit. He saw the smeet bite into a great big strawberry. He pulled out a chair for himself and picked up a few waffles.

Everybody ate in silence for a few minutes, before Hax said 'Do you want to come and see my room?' Zims eyes opened wide at that statement. Bij nodded and grabbed a few more strawberries, before Hax grabbed his hand and pulled him away.

Zim looked around, trying to think of something to say. 'Is Hax' mother about?'

'No.' Girt looked sad at that. 'She decided that she would be happier with another woman. She's still in town, and Hax gets to see her every other weekend, but she's going to move to Alaska with her girlfriend soon, and Then Hax will never see her again. She'll be so upset about that. What about you?'

Zim almost choked on his waffle. Curse these humans and their ability to turn a question against you! 'No. And I hope I never see him again.'

'Oh. Was it bad?' He asked out of a morbid curiosity.

'Worse than you could imagine. He'd been getting better, but I didn't want to risk it.'

Girt nodded. 'I guess you wouldn't want to risk him hurting you while you're pregnant.'

Zim nodded, and tried to with hold the shudder that wanted to escape him. He didn't want that to happen again. It was bad enough when he didn't know what was happening. He felt wetness at the corners of his eyes. Damn pregnancy hormones, making him open to emotions.

'Oh shit.' Girt rushed over to him and hugged him. 'I'm so sorry Zim. I... I didn't mean to say anything that would upset you. It's Ok.'

Zim felt even worse after the "comforting words." He felt the tears pouring out of his eyes, and held Girt and started crying heavily. Why? He had never cried about it before. Why now?

Girt hugged Zim and felt terrible. He had made the small woman cry. He stroked Zims' hair and made soothing noises. 'It's alright. He's not here anymore, he can't hurt you.'

Zim nodded and managed to pull himself together. 'You're right. I sh-shouldn't cry.' He had broken down in front of an inferior creature. No wonder he had never been a real invader.

Girt let go of Zim, and sat back. 'Why don't you tell me about something else. How did you manage to end up in this town?'

Zim smiled and told the completely made up story of how he got here, and the not made up story of renting the house. Girt relaxed, he always felt so uncomfortable when women cried.

--

'...And then they made me their boss.' Girt finished.

Zim started laughing. He had no idea what they were talking about anymore, but he was having fun.

'Anyway, I'm so glad that Hax managed to find a friend so easily.'

Zim wiped away a few tears from laughing. 'Why? I thought children that age made friends really easily.'

'Not here they don't. They're in cliques by the time they're two, and any newcomers have to work really hard to be accepted.'

Zim nodded. He understood about cliques. 'So when did you move here?'

'We've always lived here.' He frowned, trying to figure out where Zim got that idea from. 'Oh. No, we just didn't socialise with any of the other parents, so she didn't enter a clique.'

Zim nodded. From what he had seen of the other parents, he wouldn't want to socialise with them, either.

--

'Come on Bij.' Zim entered Hax's room with Girt. 'It's time to go home.' He looked around with amazement at the amount of toys on the girl's floor. Right now they were playing with ponies.

'Do I have to?' Bij whined. 'I want to stayyy.'

'You can't stay here. But you'll see each other again on Monday.'

The smeet pouted. 'Okay. See you on Monday Hax!'

'Bye Bij!' She followed them down the stairs, and stood by the door and waved goodbye.

'Did you see all the toys she had, Mum?' Bij asked.

Zim nodded. 'There were a lot.'

'Why don't we have any toys like that on Vort?'

Zim paused. How could he say it to the smeet. 'The vortians were fighting, and they needed the material for other things.' That was better than saying that the Irkens forced the cessation of toy production, and used most of the old toys for scrap.

'Ok.' The smeet was very accepting of Zims explanations. He skipped ahead, and Zim wandered behind him, making sure that the smeet stayed in sight.

- - - - -- -- --

Written in one night, and it's long.

On the Vortian accent. It's basically the English accent, like Tak and Lard Narr have.


	14. Chapter 14

An explanation about the previous chapters

An explanation about the previous chapters. All reviews I've had said they were slow. There is a reason for this, I had to introduce characters and set up coming chapters.

Warning: Part of a very dirty word is spoken in this chapter. This is under the M section, so you should be old enough to handle it, but I warned you if you can't.

- -- - -- --

1-ish months later...

Zim stood at the front of the skool with a frown on his face, looking for Hax, because Hax was taller and stood out from the crowd more than Bij did. He felt something run into him and looked down. There was the smeet. 'Where's Hax?' Zim asked. He never saw one of them without the other close behind.

'Her mummy came and took her out of Skool early, so they could go to Alaska.' He said.

'What?' Zim asked. 'But Girt had full custody.' Zim looked around at the cars parked outside, and saw Girt's four-wheel drive in its usual spot. 'Follow me, smeet.' He headed off towards the classroom, wondering if Girt was there, and if not, then he could get an explanation from the teacher. How dare they give away his smeets only friend!?

When they made it to the classroom, yelling was heard from inside. 'How cold you just give my daughter to her!? The police ARE going to hear about this and you will never work here again!'

Some noises of placation came from the teacher, explaining how the woman showed identification of being Hax's mother, and how Hax said she was her mother. Really, there was very little the teacher could have done, and she was only a temp, how was she to know that Hax's mother was leaving for Alaska, and didn't have custody of the child?

Zim stepped inside the room, with Bij following him. 'You should follow her and take Hax back.'

Girt looked around. 'Hey Zim. Do you know what that stupid cun-' he saw Bij, 'cow did?'

Zim nodded. 'You should follow her to the airport. Then take your smeet back, and never let her see her again!' Zim never liked the thought of a child being taken away from its main caregiver. Not after Lard Narr had threatened to do that with him, anyway.

'You're right! You can come with me.' He ran from the room, with Zim following as fast as he could, given the large bump in his stomach and having to drag Bij along behind him.

'I'll call the police, then.' The teacher weakly called after them, after the door slammed in her face.

--

After a drive of a couple of hours, they reached the airport that was being used to get to go to Alaska.

Girt ran up to an information desk. 'Can you tell me where the 8:30 flight to Alaska is leaving from?'

'I'm sorry Sir, but I was helping this man first. If you could wait in line, we'll get to you eventually.'

He looked back at the line. It was far too long. 'No. I have to know now.'

'If you insist on causing a scene, sir, I'll have to call security to arrest you.' Her finger hovered over the security call button.

Zim ran up behind him. 'Just tell us where it's leaving from.'

'I was here first, and I demand that you two go and stand in the line and wait your turn!' The fat American who had been in the front of the line shouted at them. There were calls from the rest of the line for them to do that.

'It's my wife. She's going to take my daughter to Alaska, and I'll never see her again.' Girt said, digging right into the emotional heart of the crowd and the information lady. The crowd started calling for him to be given his information.

She removed her finger from the button. 'I'll be with you in a minute, sir.' She said the man she had been serving. After typing at her computer she turned back to Girt and said 'It's terminal 5A. You just go over that way' she pointed left, 'then follow the signs to get there. You should get there in time to get your daughter back. Good luck.'

'Thank you' Girt said, then ran off in the direction indicated, with Zim following behind.

'Stupid belly smeet.' Zim cursed. 'I can't wait until you're out of me.'

They got to the terminal and Girt looked around. 'I can't see them. I can't see them.' He picked Bij up, and stood him on his shoulders. 'Try finding Hax, Bij.'

Bij held on tightly to the human's hair, looking around intently. 'Hax!' He shouted, and waved.

Hax saw him and waved back. 'Hi Bij! Daddy!' She broke away from her mother and ran over to them.

Her mother ran after her. 'Where are you running to, little Haxy?' She asked. Then she stopped. 'Oh.'

Girt wanted to start yelling at her, but didn't want Hax to see them fighting. 'Zim, can you take the kids to the car?' he handed Zim the keys.

Zim nodded, and grabbed both of them by the hands and walked off. 'Bye Mommy!' Hax yelled back.

'Bye Sweetie!' He mum said, and waved.

Zim pulled them away faster. 'What do you think you were doing, Hax? Didn't your dad tell you not to leave with your mom?'

'But she just wanted to say goodbye, and she told me that daddy would pick me up at the airport.'

'She lied, your dad didn't know you were leaving, and he was very worried about you.'

Hax looked up at Zim. 'Why would mommy lie to me?'

Zim wanted to start on an anti-human rant, about how all humans were liars, but that would hurt the smeet. 'She was jealous of your daddy, and how he got to keep you, so she lied so she could keep you.'

'Oh' Hax said. 'Liars are bad people.'

Zim nodded. 'Yes. _Unless it's for a very good reason_.' He whispered after, squeezing Bijs' hand.

- -- -- -

Yes, it's short, but if I write more, it'll just drag on. Plus I've got to get ready for class soon.


	15. Chapter 15

Two-ish months later

Two-ish months later

All the children in the class were sitting in front of the teacher. 'And that's the end of the announcements.' She said brightly, looking down at the small children quivering in terror before her. 'And we have an extra, special announcement today as well.' The kids perked up a bit. What could the special announcement be? 'Today is Bij's fifth birthday. Here's a card for you from the skool.' She handed him a yellow piece of paper with pictures of balloons on it. 'Why don't we all sing "happy Birthday" for Bij?'

Bij grinned in confusion. What was a birthday, and why was he having one? He looked at the piece of paper as the other kids sang an out-of-tune song, and made sure to remember to ask Hax about it during recess.

--

During recess Bij sat in his usual spot with Hax. 'Hax, what's a birthday?'

'Don't you know, silly? a birthday's a great day when all your relatives come to visit you, and you get presents, and you turn a year older, and you get a cake.'

Bij looked over at her. 'All my relatives will come? Maybe dad will visit me.'

Hax shrugged. 'Are you going to have a party?'

Bij shook his head. 'I don't think so. Maybe I should ask mum.'

--

Bij ran up to Zim when he got out of skool that day. 'Mummy!' he shouted. 'Guess what I got today?'

Zim looked confused and slightly worried. What had the humans given to his smeet? 'What did you get?'

'I got a birthday.'

'You don't get a birthday, today is your birthday.' Zim had completely forgotten, but now he thought of it, he did put around this date on the smeets birth certificate. He wished he had remembered earlier so he could've prepared.

Girt came over to them. 'Is it your birthday today, Bij?'

Bij nodded excitedly. 'Am I going to have a party?' He asked Zim.

Zim shook his head. 'No.' He remembered one of the parties he had been to. Children and noise, and adults standing around laughing, not to mention the running around. He would never be involved in a party again.

'Is dad gonna come and visit?' Bij asked innocently.

Zims eyes narrowed dangerously. Bij realised he had said the wrong thing too late, and backed away slightly. Girt hurriedly spoke up to prevent anything bad from happening. He knew how Zims temper could get when her ex was mentioned. Just a simple question about what happened had ended up with him in a headlock and with a black eye. 'If you don't have anything planned for Sunday, I was thinking maybe we could go to the zoo.'

Hax squealed with delight. Bij's eyes lit up. He had heard of the zoo! 'Can we go to the zoo, mum, can we?'

'Fine. It'll be something special for your birthday, anyway.' He was still in a bad mood, plus the prospect of another five minute walk with his stomach wasn't helping to improve it.

'Yay!!' Bij shouted. He ran up to Zim and hugged him tightly. 'Thankyou mummy!'

--

Bij was up at 5:00 on Sunday morning. He ran into Zims room, and woke him up from his light sleep. 'Come on Mum! We've got to get ready or we'll be late.'

Zim looked at the clock on his bedside table. 'He said they'd be here at 6, go back to bed.' He then closed his eyes and tried to get back to sleep.

Bij crawled onto Zims bad and shook his arm. 'Wake up, we'll be late.'

Zim mumbled something and tried to push Bij away, couldn't he see that Zim needed sleep? His PAK told him he needed to rest for the smeet to be healthy, but Bij kept on bugging him. After Bij shook Zims arm for the tenth time Zim relented and sat up. 'I'm up, why don't you help me and get dressed by yourself, then we can have breakfast.'

Bij smiled and ran off to put clothes on, leaving Zim alone. Zim was tempted to just collapse back into bed, but got up dressed instead.

At 5:45 they were sitting in front of the house, because Bij didn't want Girt to think they weren't there and drive on without them.

5 minutes later he pointed down the road and tried to run to the kerb, but Zim held him back. 'They're here!' Bij shouted excitedly.

Zim nodded, and got up stiffly. 'Yes. I told you they wouldn't forget us.'

'They might have if we weren't sitting here.' Bij said, justifying himself.

Girt jumped out of the car. 'You two are up early. We had to rush to try and get here on time.'

Zim frowned. He could still have been sleeping. 'Just hurry up and let's go. Bij, get in the car.'

Bij ran to the car, and opened the door to the back seat and jumped in. Zim buckled him in, before he got into the front passenger seat.

'You don't seem to be in a very good mood today, Zim.' Girt said conversationally.

Zim frowned. 'Bij woke me up at 5 this morning.' He yawned softly. 'I think I might take a nap on the trip.'

Girt shrugged as he pulled out of the driveway, 'it's a three hour drive, so you can sleep for plenty of time.'

--

Three very long hours later, Girt pulled up in the zoo car park. 'Ok, kids, we're here.' he looked over at Zim, and was amazed t find her still sleeping. He shook Zims shoulder. 'Zim, wake up.'

Zim looked around blearily. 'Are we there yet?'

Bij popped up from between the chairs. 'Yep. And now we can see all the animals! I'm gonna see a g'raffe, and an elephant, and a cat, and all orts of animals. Get up so we can go!'

They eventually made their way to the entrance. Girt scanned the cost sign. 'I'll pay for this, because it's Bij's birthday present.' He told Zim. Zim wasn't about to argue with free entrance, so he said it was ok.

'I'd like a family pass, please.' He told the cashier. 'Two adults and two children.' He indicated the adults and children.

'That'll be 50.' The cashier said. 'Have a nice day here at The Zoo. Please keep children close at all times, and if they are eaten, it is not our responsibility. Thankyou.'

'Don't take any notice of that,' Girt told a worried looking Zim. 'They just have to add it since the great animal escape of Tuesday. Nobody will ever forget that day.' He bowed his head in silence for a few seconds. 'But! Enough of that, lets go see the animals.'

--

By the end of the first hour, even Zim was getting into the spirit of animal watching. 'Can you see it?' he asked the others, 'it's right there!' He then pointed off at some leaves.

Everybody else peered in at the enclosure. 'I think this one might be empty, Zim.' Girt said.

Bij peered closer. 'I think I see it. Is it behind the big leaf at the back?'

'Yes!' Zim shouted. 'See, right there.'

The humans peered closer. 'I can't see anything.' Hax said sulkily.

'It's moving!' Zim shouted, and then from out behind the leaves came a small, furry, brown monkey.

'Awwwww.' The humans said.

'Look Bij, it's got a little baby, just like your mom will have soon.' girt said.

'Nuh-uh.' Bij argued. 'Mummy's baby's gonna be bigger.' He put his arms around Zims stomach in a hug.

Zim frowned. 'I hope it doesn't get too much bigger.' But he hugged the smeet back anyway.

--

When they entered the frog house, Bij was amazed. He had never seen any other creatures on this planet with skin like Zims. He pointed out a big green frog with red eyes. 'Look mummy, it looks like you.'

Zim looked around hurriedly to make sure nobody else had heard that, but Hax and Girt were further along and the rest of the frog house was empty. 'You shouldn't say things like that, smeet.'

Bij looked confused for a few seconds, then realisation dawned upon him. 'I'm sorry mum, I didn't mean to.'

'It's ok, Bij, nobody heard. But you've got to be more careful about what you say. Remember what I told you?'

Bij nodded. 'Loose lips can cause untold damage to everything, and I'm talking to you, Zim.'

Zim nodded. 'It's advice that I was given as an invader-in-training, and it's never let me down, so just be careful of what you say.' Bij nodded.

'Hurry up, you two.' Hax called from further down the frog house, and the Irkens hurried on.

--

When lunchtime arrived, heralded by two children complaining about being tired and hungry, they made their way o the lawn in the middle of the zoo.

Girt took off the backpack he had been wearing while they were walking around the park. 'I brought bread, and sandwich fillings with me.' He pulled out some plastic bags filled with salad and bread. 'And I didn't bring any meat, because I know you're vegetarians.' He said to Zim, to stop any complaints before they started.

Zim smiled at Girt and started making a sandwich for Bij, then himself, while Girt did the same for Hax and himself.

They all sat there eating for a few minutes, until Hax and Bij got bored and ran off to play.

Girt laughed. 'Just a few minutes ago they were complaining of being tired, and now they have enough energy to play.'

Zim nodded. 'I don't think that they get tired for too long when there's a chance to play.'

'They're great kids, aren't they?' His hand moved and touched Zims.

Zim looked down. 'What are you doing?'

Girt pulled his hand back in embarrassment. 'I didn't know, it just slipped.'

Zim shrugged. The warmth of the sun and the large sandwich he had just eaten were making him tired. He leaned against Girts' shoulder and started to doze.

Girt ran his hand through Zims hair, and smiled while watching the Hax and Bij play.

--

Zim sniffed the air and made a face. 'It stinks here.' he said.

Girt shrugged, 'it's just fish. That's what they feed the otters with.' He walked over to the pen and stared in at it with Bij and Hax.

'Hurry up and look at them, mum!' Bij shouted over to Zim, who was keeping his distance. There was so much water, and the smell was so bad. He carefully walked over towards them, and stood a metre away from the tank.

Zim peered into the glass side of the pool and looked at the little furry creatures, who were swimming around in that vile liquid. Just swimming up and down, and in circles and then one of them jumped out onto land. Zim watched it, and saw it pick up a dead fish and bite into it with sharp little teeth. If he had found out about these creatures while he was still on his mission, he could have used them against the humans. They would have been perfect for destroying underwater cables, and they could have come back to him to be sent out on another mission.

Bij saw Zim smiling at the otters and said, 'I knew you'd like them, they're so cute.' This pulled Zim out of his daydream about destruction, and he looked at the otters again.

'I guess they are kind of... cute.' He conceded. Which would make them better as his little troops, he added in his mind.

--

'So how did you two enjoy your trip to the zoo?' Girt asked them as they were leaving.

'I liked the leopards.' Hax said, 'and the dogs.'

'What about you Bij?'

Bij thought for a few moments. 'I liked the giraffes. They were so tall, and I liked the otters.'

'What about you, Zim?'

Zim thought. Which of the creatures did he like the best? He had enjoyed seeing the lions eating that dead animal they were given, though Bij had become rather distressed at the sight. He had also enjoyed the birds. He had only seen crows and small sparrows before then, and they had rather reminded him of the tallest and the tallers who ruled various planets. Colourful, and they made a lot of noise, but you wouldn't want them to go away. Especially the green ones who looked at you like they knew you were up to something. 'I liked the parrots. They were... they reminded me of home.'

'And I liked the small monkeys.' Zim shivered at the thought of monkeys. He was glad he hadn't seen any like that monkey.

--

As they were driving home that night, with Bij and Hax asleep in the back seat, Bij clutching a beanie otter that Zim had gotten for him, Zim and Girt talked.

'I can take Bij to skool in the morning and home in the afternoon if you want.'

'Why would you do that?' Zim asked, confused. Why would he want to take Bij to skool for.

'Well,' Girt began, 'you're going to have you're kid in the next few weeks, and I don't like the thought of you walking that much. And what if something happens, like you get hit by a car or something? I could never forgive myself. And it'll give you more time to sleep. It seems to be putting a strain on you.'

Zim nodded. He would like the extra time to sleep. PAKs were only designed to provide nutrients for one Irken, and it was complaining about the second one. The same thing had happened with Bij, but Lard Narr had made sure somebody took care of him then, if he wasn't looking after Zim himself. 'And would you be able to keep Bij at your house when I go into hospital?' He asked, not that he was going to go to hospital, but it was a good excuse to get people to leave him alone for a few days.

'Of course.' Girt answered, completely trusting Zim. 'I'll even drive you in if you need me to.'

'That won't be necessary.' Zim said hurriedly. 'I'm taking a taxi.'

-- -- -- - -- -- - --

A long chapter, in pre-emptive apology of not being able to update for a weekish.

It's sweet, adds almost nothing to the story, and made me want to go to the zoo. But that's all you can hope for in a story.

And I did add writer's bias to the story. I love the otters at the zoo. They're my favourite of the animals there, but their enclosure always smells.


	16. The Big day

The event that one person has been waiting for

The event that one person has been waiting for. Whoo!

-- -- -- --

Zim winced as he felt a slight pressure from inside his belly. He walked up the stairs to Bij's room, and saw that the smeet was still asleep. He went over to the smeet and shook his shoulder. 'Bij,' he whispered, 'wake up.'

'Wha'?' Bij asked sleepily.

'It's time to get up. And you're going to have to go to Girt's house after skool today.' Bij nodded. He looked sad. Zim had been telling him for awhile that he wouldn't be able to stay at home soon. 'Do you remember what I told you?' Zim asked.

'Don't let him wash me, don't take off my disguise. You're staying at the hospital, but I shouldn't let him visit you.'

'And..?' Zim added.

'And you'll still care for me despite the new smeet.' Bij leaned over and hugged Zim, 'I don't want to go.'

Zim stroked Bijs' head. 'You'll be coming back in a few days, but try and remember the rules.' Zim said. Bij nodded and let go. Zim sighed. He didn't want the smeet to go either, but it would be too hard on the both of them for Bij to be around. He had at least had added the last point to the list after seeing on the television that sometimes children can feel displaced by the arrival of a new smeet, and may become jealous of it and the attention it receives. Zim had thought about this, and decided that it made sense. There had always been fighting for the attention of the trainers when a new recruit joined the groups of smeets on Irk, so it would make sense for the same to happen in family groups. 'Let's get you dressed, then I'll make you waffles for breakfast.'

Bij cheered up a bit 'I like waffles. '

--

'Are you sure you don't want me to drive you to the hospital myself?' Girt asked. 'It's no trouble, I can just take a sick day off work.'

'No.' Zim said. 'It's fine, I can just call a taxi.'

'Are you sure?' Girt asked, repeating himself. 'I don't want anything to happen. What if he mugs you, or kills you and takes the kid, or what if he rapes you? Are you sure you'll be safe in a cab? What if you can't get one?'

Zim wasn't sure if he could ever take a taxi again, but nodded his head. 'I'll be fine. And if I can't get one, Mrs. Angor said she'd drive me in.'

'Ok.' Girt said, 'but phone me if you need anything. I'll come and visit you at the hospital tomorrow.'

'No!' Zim said, 'I mean, you don't have to go to the bother of visiting me. I don't like being crowded in hospitals.'

'I'm sure that Bij would enjoy visiting you.'

'No. I don't want Bij going to a hospital.'

Girt looked a bit confused by this, but just put it down to being a Zim thing. 'Okay, then. If you're sure... I guess I'll see you when you come home. Bye.'

Zim waved him off, wincing slightly at an increase of pressure in his spooch.

--

Later that day Zim walked slowly up the stairs. The pressure was coming on more often now, and he didn't want to give birth downstairs.

He went into his bedroom and closed the blinds, then he took his pants off, folding them neatly on the bed. He then thought for a few seconds and removed his shirt as well. He would have liked to have something to cover himself, but didn't want to get his shirt dirty, and from what little he remembered from the last time, things would get very dirty.

He stood there for a bit and shivered. He was starting to get very uncomfortable with the smeet pressing on his insides. He walked through to the en suite bathroom, and sat down in the bath tub. He had put some towels there the day before, and was glad for that small comfort. He had decided to have the smeet in the bathtub because it would be easy to clean up later. He then leaned against the wall of the tub and tried to get comfortable, then waited for the smeet to come.

--

'_Son of a Vort!_' Zim screamed, forgetting his own children's parentage and panting hard. He could feel the smeet moving down from its protective pouch and was in quite a bit of pain. He didn't remember this much pain last time, but then again, last time he had been filled with drugs the medical drones had given him. He pushed his feet up against the armrests and pushed hard, trying to get the smeet out of him faster.

He fell back panting and feeling the nutrient fluid leak out of him. He leaned back with tears in his eyes and started muttering to himself, praying to some of the primitive deities he had heard of on his travels. He screamed out again, and pushed hard, feeling more nutrient fluid leak out. How much of it had he had in himself?

He panted again, then pushed harder, feeling something a bit more solid move down. It was so close to vacating him, but right now it was just pushing him in an uncomfortable way. '_Get out of me you little fucking mutant!_'

He pushed again, and felt his body stretch out to painful proportions to evict the smeet. He looked down and saw the top of its head stick out from between his legs. He fell back and panted, waiting for the next contraction to come. When it came he pushed with it, and the entire head emerged.

He smiled at that, surely that was the hardest part out of the way. Then he felt another contraction hit him, and pushed harder than he had pushed before. It was hurting more, and though he tried not to, he couldn't help but scream when he felt his body tear despite its stretchiness. Zim started crying. Surely now that the shoulders were out, the rest of the body would be easy. He pushed one more time and felt the rest of the smeet fall out of him, along with a gush of nutrient fluid.

He fell back, crying and panting, completely exhausted from the birth. He heard the smeet moving in the fluid, and picked it up, looking at it. Its skin was more green that that of it's, he checked the smeets antennae, her. Her skin was greener than her brother's, but was bluer than his, and lighter in colour. He saw it also had vortian legs, which it was kicking slightly in annoyance. He pulled her close to his chest and hugged her tightly, closing his eyes in sleep.

--

He woke up an hour later, because the smeet was chirping for food. He stroked its antennae and pulled himself from the bathtub. He then stumbled over to his bed, brushing the dried liquids from his thighs with the friction. He grit his teeth at the pain that moving created, and collapsed onto the bed, glad that the short walk wasn't longer.

He pulled himself into an upright position and lowered his antenna to feed the smeet. It suckled gratefully at the clear liquid that was produced, then cuddled into Zims' heat and fell asleep. Zim leaned against the head board and dozed lightly.


	17. Chapter 17

Girt finished work early the next day, and pickled up a bunch of flowers from the garage

Just a little reminder; italics alien language.

- - -- - - -- -- -

Girt finished work early the next day, and pickled up a bunch of flowers from the garage. Even if Zim didn't want any visitors, he was sure she would love some flowers. Everybody liked to get things when they were in hospital.

He drove the short distance to the hospital, and entered. The waiting room was empty, and it smelled of clean. He went up to the receptionist. 'Hello. I came to give some flowers to a Mrs. Zim Narr, she came in yesterday.'

The receptionist typed at a computer. 'I'm sorry, but there is no such person here. Maybe she was discharged?'

Girt frowned. Zim would have only just had the kid; they wouldn't have discharged her so early. 'You do deliver babies here, don't you?'

'Of course.' She replied to the seemingly out-of-the-blue question. 'But there haven't been any births here for two months.'

'What?' Girt asked, 'but Zim came in here because she was pregnant. And she would have given birth by now.'

The receptionist frowned. This was very unusual. She typed at her computer. 'No, nobody by that name came in here. Nobody by that name has ever come in here. Are you sure it was THIS hospital? Did you take her here yourself?'

'No, but Zim would have come here. It's the closest one around.' He thought for a few moments. 'The taxi company! Maybe they didn't take her here.' He ran out the door, scared as to what might have happened to Zim in the taxi.

--

'Hello, small town taxi's at your service, how may we help you today?'

'I need to know if you picked anyone up from 114 Royal Street yesterday.'

'I'm sorry, but we can't give away personal information about customers. Do you need any other help?'

'No!' he shouted. 'You have to help me. She was pregnant, and said she'd take a taxi to the hospital. I need to know if she got there.'

The person at the other end of the phone thought for a few minutes, then asked, 'are you family? I can give away information to family.'

'Yes!' Girt said with enthusiasm. 'I'm family; now tell me, did she make it to the hospital?'

'Did you say 114 Royal Street?'

'Yes' Girt said, starting to grow suspicious.

'There were no calls for taxis in that area yesterday. Definitely not to that address. Are you sure you have the right place?'

Girt hung up the phone. Why wouldn't Zim have called a taxi? But she did say her neighbour might give her a ride. He'd have to go and ask her.

--

Girt went up to the front door of Zims' neighbour's house. There was a plaque hanging over the door saying "God bless this house." He took a deep breath and tried to neaten himself up, then knocked on the door, hoping the woman was in.

After waiting for a few minutes, the door opened. 'Yes?' The woman asked. 'What do you want? I've already got insurance, if that's what you're here for.'

'No. I'm here to ask you about Zim, your neighbour. I was wondering if you drove her to the hospital yesterday.'

'I did offer a while back to drive her in, but she said her friend was going to drive her in.' She looked at him a bit harder. 'Aren't you him?'

'Yes. She told me that she was going to take a taxi, or that you would drive her in. I went to visit her at the hospital, and she wasn't there, and the taxi company didn't pick her up yesterday.' He thought for a few moments. 'Did you see anyone there yesterday? Anyone that could have taken her to the hospital?'

Mrs. Angor shook her head. 'I didn't see anyone. Why don't you knock on the door to see if she's in? Maybe she hasn't gone into labour yet.' She was searching for an explanation. 'I'm sure she'll be fine, no matter what. She seems like a capable young woman.'

Girt nodded. 'I'll try that.' He turned around. He knew Zim had gone into labour, and she would have had it by now. What if something had really gone wrong? He started running towards Zims' house.

--

Zim was woken up from his afternoon nap by somebody banging on his front door. He heard somebody shouting his name. 'Girt?' He asked. He listened harder and realised it was Girt. '_I told you not to visit me. You'll ruin everything._' He mumbled into his pillow.

He decided to check on the smeet, since he was awake. She was still sleeping. He stroked the top of her head with a finger. '_Don't worry; I won't let them take you._'

The smeet curled up and breathed out with a sigh. Zim removed his finger in case he woke her. The banging seemed to have stopped. Hopefully Girt would go away now.

All thoughts of the human leaving fled Zims mind as he heard the squeaky back door open. He really did need to put that key in a safer spot.

'Zim?' Girt called out. 'Are you in, Zim? I just want to make sure you're okay.'

Zim gasped and put his necklace back on. Hopefully the human wouldn't come up here, but he couldn't be too sure. He just hoped he didn't ask to see the smeet.

'Zim?' Zim mentally cursed as he heard the humans noises get closer. He was almost starting to sound worried. 'Zim, if you can hear me, I want you to shout. I just want to know you're ok.'

Zim sighed. It seemed like the human wasn't going to leave without seeing him. He picked the smeet up in his arms, so the human couldn't see her. 'I'm in here.' He called out.

Girt popped his head around the door a few moments later. 'Zim, are you okay? Why aren't you in the hospital?'

'I don't like doctors,' Zim said lamely.

Girt tutted. 'That's no reason to not go to the hospital. I can pack some things for you, and I'll drive you there right now.'

'No!' Zim shouted, waking the smeet up. 'I'm not going to the hospital, and neither is my daughter.'

'Zim!' Girt said. 'Calm down, it can't be good for you to be this worked up.' He sat on the edge of the bed, and spoke in his most calming, rational voice. 'You need to at least have somebody check you over, just to make sure you're alright. Maybe we can get someone to come out here if you don't want to go to the hospital.'

'No.' Zim said stubbornly. He held his smeet closer and stroked her head. 'It's alright, we're not going anywhere.'

Girt looked at the bundle in Zims arms. 'Can I see her?' he asked. Maybe if he changed the subject he could get Zim to come with him.

'No.' Zim said, hugging the smeet closer still. Then he glared at Girt. 'You're working for them aren't you? That's what those are for, isn't it.' He pointed at the bunch of wilting flowers held in Girts hand.

Girt looked down at the flowers. 'No, I just brought them to make you feel better.' Then he thought longer about what Zim had said. 'Are you sure you're feeling ok? You sound... paranoid.'

Zim glared at Girt. 'Are you trying to throw me off? You just keep on changing the subject so you can bring me to the doctors. So they can poke at my insides, and tear my smeets apart! I won't let you!' Zim was shouting by now. 'I'll kill you before you get to my smeets!' Tears were streaming down his cheeks.

Girt backed off. 'Zim, what are smeets? I swear I don't want them, whatever they are. The doctors just want to help you. They don't want your insides. Please, just calm down, you're scaring the baby.' And it was true, she had started crying during Zims screams.

Zim looked down, and started rocking the smeet, cooing to it in Irken, and ended up calming himself down at the same time. _'Hey little smeety, it's ok. You're going to be ok. What do you want?_' He directed at Girt.

'Huh?' Girt asked. What were those noises Zim had just made?

'What do you want?' Zim asked again, this time in English.

'I just wanted to make sure you were ok and that your daughter was ok. Do you have a name for her yet?'

Zim stroked her antennae. 'Her name's Kiv.'

'Awwww,' Girt said. 'Can I see her?'

Zim shook his head. 'No. Not yet.' He needed to dig out that spare disguise necklace from where ever it was.

'Why not?' Girt asked, pouting. 'I've seen newborns before.'

Zim shook his head. 'You'll scream and take her away from me, then you'll kill her.'

'Don't be silly, Zim. I'd never take your children away from you. I'm not like your ex was. You can trust me.' He thought Zims paranoia came from having lived with an abusive partner. 'If she's as pretty as you are, there's no way I'd scream.' He held Zims hand.

'You promise you won't scream, or tell anyone? You can't tell anybody.' He leaned in towards Girt. 'Don't tell anyone.'

'I promise, Zim.' Girt was starting to get worried. What was wrong with her daughter? What couldn't he tell anyone?

Zim sighed, and, going against every voice that was screaming in his head not to, he held Kiv out for Girt to see.

-- -- - --

And, because I feel evil, I'll stop it there.


	18. Chapter 18

Zim decided that Girt had taken it very well, for a human

I'm not really happy with this, but it'll do.

- - -- -- -- --

Zim decided that Girt had taken it very well, for a human. He hadn't screamed, he hadn't run away, and most importantly, he hadn't phoned anyone. He had just asked questions; where was the girls father from, where was he now, was he coming back for her, and other such questions. It took Zim a while to realise that Girt thought he was a human, and decided that he should break the news that he wasn't as gently as he could. Now Girt was just standing in the far corner of the room, looking at Zim.

'So, you're an alien too?'

Zim nodded.

'Is that why you don't eat meat, or go near water?'

Zim nodded again.

'And why you're always wearing that backpack?'

Zim nodded for a third time. 'It keeps me alive.' He didn't feel the need to add any more than that.

'Are you a... a Vortian too?'

Zims antennae flattened. 'No. I'm an Irken.'

Girt blinked. He hadn't been expecting that. 'So, how did..?' He pointed at the smeet.

'I didn't lie to you about their...' Zim searched for the right word, 'conception. Or their father.' His expression darkened.

'I'm sorry.' Girt said automatically, without feeling anything. 'Is Bij one, too?'

'Yes.' Zim said.

Girt couldn't believe it. He seemed like such a normal young boy. Like a human. He was finding this very hard to come to grips with. 'I think I need to go home, and think about this. Phone me when you want me to drop Bij off again, and we'll talk about it some more then.'

Zim nodded. 'Don't tell anyone.'

--

Girt walked down to the car. How could this have happened? He was planning to ask Zim to have dinner with him sometime, not get told that she wasn't even human. He laughed slightly. He sure could pick them; first a lesbian and then an alien.

He got into the car, thinking everything over. He decided that Zim being an alien wasn't that bad. She acted human, and with the disguise on, she looked human, if a bit short. And it's not like she was an evil alien who had come to take over the world and destroy all life on it. And from what he knew of her she probably wouldn't be very good at it anyway.

He wondered if it was a hologram Zim was using for a disguise. Real alien technology. He wondered idly if they also had teleporters, and other sci-fi stuff. It was kind of cool, actually. When he was younger he had always wanted to have an alien friend, and now he did. Though he didn't know how long their friendship would last now that he knew. What if Zim killed him so he wouldn't tell anybody? But surely she wouldn't put Hax through that. And thinking of Hax...

Girt pulled up at the skool, putting on the most apologetic face he had. He knew he was at least 15 minutes late for picking them up. 'Hey.' He said brightly. 'How was skool?'

'You're late.' Hax said accusingly.

'I had a long day at the office, sweetie.' He bent down and picked Bij up. It was amazing, he felt just like a normal child. 'But I'm here now, and we can go home.'

'I want to go back home to mum.' Bij whined.

Girt hugged him. God, it was uncanny how real he felt. 'Don't worry; I'm sure you'll be going back soon enough.' He noted the sad mood of both the kids. 'Why don't we get pizza for dinner while you're still here?'

Bij and Hax cheered.

--

Later that night, once Girt had put Bij and Hax to bed, he had a thought. What if Bij was a human? People were always going on about child abductions, and Bij had just seemed so... not alien.

Girt snuck into Bij's room when he was sure he would be asleep and looked at him. Bij was wearing the same kind of necklace that Zim had taken off, so that would probably be the disguise creator.

He carefully undid the clasp of the necklace, and stared. Bij was definitely an alien. He shakily reached up and touched one of the horns on Bij's head, then stroked one of the antennae that was lying limply on the pillow. Bij shuddered slightly, so Girt let go of the antenna and reclasped the necklace.

He backed out of the room slowly and closed the door. Well, that definitely answered that question. He would never have thought that an alien would be so like a human. Surely they would have a different culture that would make them different to humans. Girt almost wished he could ask more questions, but he didn't want to upset either Zim or Bij, especially not when Zim had placed so much trust in his hands.

Girt smiled, he would just let things continue as normal. He walked down the hall to his bedroom, and slept until the phone rang the next morning.

--

Zim had been fretting all night. How could he have let the human know? He was probably contacting the scientists right now, and he had Bij. What if he gave Bij to the scientists? They would pull him apart in five minutes, then they would come after Zim, and Kiv! He couldn't let that happen. As soon as it was light the next morning Zim phoned Girt.

'Wha'?' Girt answered.

'You can bring Bij back today.' Zim blurted out.

'Zim? It's 4:00 in the morning. Call later.'

'No! I'm feeling fine, and you Bij can come back home today.'

'Are you sure you're feeling fine?' There was a pause. 'Are you just reacting about yesterday?'

'No.' Zim said. 'I'm feeling perfectly fine, and you can return Bij today.'

'Okay, I'll see you after skool. Bye.'

'Bye.' Zim hung up. Now he would have to think of a way to tell Bij that they were leaving the town.

--

Zim answered the door that afternoon. 'Bij!' He said, and picked Bij up in a big hug. 'How are you?'

'I'm good.' Bij answered, cuddling into Zims chest. 'I missed you.'

'I missed you, too. Do you want to come in?' He asked Girt and Hax.

Girt nodded. 'We should talk.'

'Why don't you two go and play in the backyard?' Zim shooed the two kids off.

'Where's Kiv?' Girt asked as soon as Hax and Bij had run off.

'She's sleeping. What do you want to talk about?'

'About yesterday. I know you might feel uncomfortable about this, but you don't have to worry. Nobody will ever know.'

'It doesn't matter if they do, we're leaving.'

'What! Zim you can't leave. I promise, I'll never let anybody know. I'll never tell anyone, ever. Not even if they find out for themselves! Please don't leave because of this.'

Zim shrugged. 'I've already packed. I can't risk Them finding out about us. They'd kill Bij and Kiv, and I'll never let that happen. So, I have to leave.'

'But, what about Hax and Bij, they're such good friends, it'd kill them to have to leave each other.'

Zim thought. The smeets would be upset at parting. 'They'll get over it. Bij has stopped asking when his father's coming, so he'll eventually forget about Hax, too.'

Girt looked aghast. 'Do you even care about him?'

'What?' Zim asked. was the human questioning his smeet raising abilities?

'Do you even care about Bij? You can't just uproot him whenever you feel threatened. These are the years that'll make him who he is. You can't just move him whenever you want to.'

'I'm doing this for him! I don't want some humans finding him! They'd do horrible things.'

'I said I wouldn't let anyone find out. Though you might not be able to trust a human to keep your secrets.'

'No.' Zim said. 'All aliens are dirty, treacherous creatures. You've probably called Them already.'

'What?' Girt asked. 'Zim, do you really think that I'd have called some scientists? Do you really not trust me? As an individual, not a human, or an alien, but as a friend?'

Zim opened his mouth, then closed it again. 'You're my friend?' He was slightly suspicious of this word, from his days as Keefs friend, but this human hadn't displayed any Keef-like traits yet, he was more like 777.

'Of course I'm your friend. Don't they have friends where you come from?'

'Well...' Zim trailed off. 'I guess we do.' He and Skoodge used to be what he guessed were friends. And he and 777 were friends.

'Do you trust me, as a friend?'

Zim thought for a long time. He didn't think that the human would put Bij in danger, and he had allowed the human to look after Bij while he was having the smeet. But still, he was a human, an alien. He had been taught from the day he had been activated that your only loyalties should lie with the empire. Trust no-one but your Tallers, and trust the Tallest above all. Especially don't trust aliens.

But the Tallest had broken all his trust in them. They had abandoned him when he needed them the most. And he had trusted 777 to not tell Lard Narr that he was going anywhere. 'I do.' He said hesitantly.

'Good, then you won't leave because you told me your secret.'

Zim nodded. He didn't like having to remember how he had been deceived, and how he had deceived his upbringing. He felt tears at the corners of eyes.

'Are you feeling okay?' Girt asked, worried.

Zim shook his head. He blamed the after-effects of giving birth to these emotions. He held his arms out for a hug, in the way that Bij had.

Girt bent down and held Zim close, whispering assurances into where his ears were positioned.

- -- - -- -

Two chapters for the price of one! This chapter is extra long because I probably won't be updating for quite a while. I have a lot of school work to do.


	19. Chapter 19

Sorry about the length of time, people

Sorry about the length of time, people. I had a lot of work to do.

Geography and continuity aren't my strong points.

--- ---- ---

Lard Narr looked down on the planet that he was approaching. This was, apparently, Earth; the planet Zim might be on. It had taken him longer than he had thought to get here. He thought he should have turned left just past Zyrgon, but hadn't stopped to ask directions.

When he had piloted into orbit around the planet, he turned on the PAK scanner/locator device he had brought with him. It should be able to pick out Zims PAK if he was on the planet, because who else would come here? It was a planet so far away from civilisation that it wouldn't even be useful for smugglers.

The scanner started beeping almost as soon as he turned it on. He grinned and placed the co-ordinates into his ships auto-pilot. He would have Zim back soon.

-----

Lard Narr parked his ship under cover of darkness. He didn't want any natives to see him, he had heard the stories...

He had managed to touch down in a large open area, right in the centre of the habitation. He looked around and was pleasantly surprised to see how open everything was. The area was built up like Vort was, and there was actual dirt under him. He knelt down (a particularly difficult task for a vortian) and pulled up a clump of the dirt, as well as the plants that were growing in it. He looked at the creature wriggling in the dirt for a few seconds, before realising he should get on with the job of looking for Zim.

He picked up the PAK scanner and turned it on, letting the little flashing arrow point him in the way of Zim. He scrambled in a pocket for his keys, and remote locked the ship, as well as turning on its cloak. Now, he was ready to get Zim.

-----

Lard Narr passed rows and rows of buildings that all looked the same. He guessed that they were houses of some kind, probably used by the dominant life form on the planet. He stopped outside the house that the PAK locator pointed at. He hesitatingly walked up to the door, and turned the handle. It wouldn't turn. He took a step back and looked at the door again, then knocked lightly on it. _'Zim? Are you there Zim? It's me, Lard Narr'_

Lard Narr then put his head to the door to try and hear Zim, either coming or going. He didn't hear anything for a few minutes, so knocked harder on the door. _'Zim? Are you in, Zim?_' He put his head to the door again, but still didn't hear anything, so he started banging on the door, trying to get Zim to open the door.

Finally he saw the door open a bit. Lard Narr pushed against it, but was stopped by a chain connecting the door to the frame. _'Zim, let me in!_' He shouted.

_'Be quiet, or they'll hear you._' Zim whispered back.

Lard Narr looked around, and lowered his voice. _'Let me in Zim. Please, I just want to talk._' He lied.

Zim knew he was lying. '_No, you can stay out there and talk. I won't let you in.'_

_'Fine, I'll stay out here_.' Lard Narr sighed and leaned his head against the door. _'I'm really sorry, Zim, I shouldn't have done that to you. Will you come home with me?'_

_'You shouldn't have done that, and I'm not going back with you.'_

_'Will you just let me see Bij? Please, Zim. Let me see my son. I've been missing him so much. Just let me see Bij.'_

There was a pause. _'No. He's doing fine without you, so just go back to Vort. I'm sure you'll be able to get someone else, and get another smeet'_ Zim pushed the door shut and dead bolted it from the inside.

_'What?_' Lard Narr asked. _'No! No!_' He started banging on the door. _'Zim, open this door back up! I'm not going back without you or Bij, so you had better come right back here and open the door. Zim, Zim! Open the door!'_

-----

Bij was standing at the top of the stairs, clutching Mooshy. 'Mummy?' he asked.

'Go back to bed, Bij. He'll be gone by the morning.'

'I want to see dad. Can I see dad?'

'No, Bij. Go back to bed.'

'But I-' Bij started. 'I'll go back to bed.' He looked down.

'Good smeet.' Zim stroked his antennae. 'You don't have to worry about him any more.' Zim shooed the smeet into his bedroom, then went back downstairs. He turned on the TV and turned the volume up so he couldn't hear Lard Narr anymore.

-----

From over the road Mrs. Angor looked out of her window. Zim seemed to be having a bit of trouble with somebody. She blearily saw a shape on the porch and squinted at it. That shape didn't seem right...

She hurried to get her glasses and put them on, and gasped while crossing herself. There was a creature on the porch, and it couldn't be human. She hurriedly picked up her phone and dialled 911.

'Hello? The devil's on my neighbours' porch!'

There was a stunned silence from the other end. Then a question.

'No, I'm not drunk. Listen, he's speaking in tongues and causing a disturbance.' She held the phone up to the open window, where the sounds of Lard Narr shouting could easily be heard.

There was more talking on the other end of the line. Mrs. Angor listened on and nodded. '114, Royal Street.' She said after a bit. There was more talking on the other side of the phone. 'Yes, thankyou... I won't try to confront it myself.' Mrs. Angor hung up and waited by the window, glancing out fearfully.

-----

Lard Narr was starting to get fed up with Zims stubbornness. Why couldn't he just agree to come back with him? Then everything could go easily. Maybe he should just break the door and force Zim to come back? That might work. His thoughts were cut off by some noises from behind him.

'Ummm, Mr. Devil, sir?' a wavering voice called out through a megaphone. 'It would be good if you could just go back to hell and stop causing a disturbance, please?' The police man then cowered behind his car, hoping he wouldn't get blasted down or anything.

Lard Narr looked confused for a few moments. _'Hello_?' he asked, _'do you speak standard?'_

-----

Zim got off the couch as soon as he heard the human talking. He hoped Lard Narr didn't give him away. He walked to the door to see what was happening.

-----

The policeman was really having a hard time. The demon didn't seem to be going anywhere. He held up a cross he had made from some twigs he found on the ground and started reciting what little he remembered from going to church on Christmas day.

He was interrupted halfway through the Lords Prayer when he saw the door open a bit. He dropped his twigs and picked up the megaphone again. 'Please, stay inside. I don't want anyone getting hurt.'

The door stopped opening, and he heaved a huge sigh of relief. His relief was cut short, however, when he saw Lard Narr turn towards the door and leap towards it.

The police officer picked up his gun and fired two shots at the demons head.

Lard narr fell to the floor.

Zim opened the door up fully.

Bij ran downstairs to see what had happened.

Kiv woke with a start and began crying.

And all the lights on the block turned on.


	20. Chapter 20

A reminder: italics is alien.

- --- -- --- ----

The next morning Zim was sitting in the police station, holding Kiv in his arms, getting questioned by two policemen. Lard Narr had been dragged off the night before in the back of an ambulance, after it had been verified that the policeman had a bad aim and had only shot him in the arm and stomach.

Zim was getting tired of the constant questions. 'No, I have never seen it before in my life. Can I go home now?'

One of the policemen sighed. 'We're as tired as you are, but if you could just answer these questions we could all go home. It seemed to be shouting your name and your sons name, from what our witness has reported. Why would it be doing that if it didn't know you?'

Zim shrugged. 'Maybe it read the wrong name in the phonebook. There are probably hundreds of Zims in the country, it probably just came to the wrong house. Can I go now?' He was getting slightly worried. What if they connected him to Lard Narr, and dug deeper behind his cover and found them out? Of course, his disguise was so brilliant it would take more than just humans to uncover it.

The second one looked at his watch. 'Fine, but don't leave the town, we'll want to talk to you later.'

'I won't" Zim said, mentally cursing. Now they would be suspicious if he fled the planet. He got up and left the room. As he was leaving the room, he saw a woman enter. 'We're getting more…' He heard, before he left earshot.

'Come on, Bij.' Zim said to the smeet who was playing in the foyer. He hoped Lard Narr didn't give him away.

-----

Lard Narr woke up in pain. He had no idea what these primitives used for weapons, but it hurt worse than getting hit by ricocheting material. He lifted his good arm up to touch the shoulder that had been hit. It felt odd, so he looked down at it and saw that it was covered in a white cloth. He had had no idea these creatures were so primitive that they still used bandages.

A bit of a closer inspection also told him that he had been stripped. He ran his hand down his body and realised he had been completely stripped. That didn't matter. He had other clothes in his ship, and he could get them when he made his escape.

He sat up to make his escape, but stopped with a gasp. His stomach had been hit! He didn't know how much damage had been done, but it was enough to stop him from leaving.

He then finally noticed the creature in the room with him. It was standing in a corner, holding a gun. When it saw that he had noticed it, it spoke into a communication device attached to the wall. Lard Narr frowned. He wished he had brought a translator with him, though they would probably have confiscated it from him.

He opened his mouth to speak to the alien, and coughed sharply. It brought its gun up and pointed it at his head, speaking again.

'_What?_' Lard Narr asked. '_What are you saying?_'

The alien spoke again. Slower this time, and louder, as if that would help.

Lard Narr shook his head, hoping that it translated to these creatures as well. Humans, he remembered Zim had called them, in one of his long rants. '_I don't know what you're saying._' Then he decided to try something different. 'Hu-u-man.' He pronounced, pointing at the alien and feeling like an idiot.

The human nodded, and said something that sounded affirmatory. Lard Narr let out a sigh of relief. They finally had some communication down.

The alien then pointed to itself, and said 'Greg.'

Lard Narr was confused for a moment. What did "Greg" mean? Then he thought it might be its name. He pointed to the human, 'human Greg?' "Greg" nodded. Lard Narr then pointed at himself and said 'Vortian.' he then added on 'Lard Narr.' Maybe if they got to know each other, the human would let him go. At the very least, he hoped to not be killed.

The human spoke into the communication device again, and Lard Narr heard the words "Vortian" and "Lard Narr." There was a bit of responding chatter from the other side, then the human walked over to the bed and raised it so that Lard Narr was in a sitting position. The human then pulled out a picture of another human. He showed it to Lard Narr and said 'Zim.'

Lard Narr took the picture. That wasn't Zim. That was another human. He shook his head. _'That's not Zim.'_

The human frowned at Lard Narr's negative response and brought out another picture. 'Bij.' He said. Lard Narr frowned. Why did he keep showing him humans but saying it was his family. Then it struck him. Zim was using disguises so that they both didn't end up in the position that he was in. That sneaky scientist had probably provided them. He wanted to tell the human, but then he paused. If he told the human, if he was able to tell the human, then the humans would take Bij. He wouldn't let them hurt his son. He shook his head at the picture of Bij.

The human sighed and spoke some more. Lard Narr really wished he had brought a translator with him. The human seemed to realise Lard Narrs lack of understanding and brought out a piece of paper. The human drew a domed thing, a planet Lard Narr thought was Earth, and an arrow pointing from the dome to the planet, then he drew a symbol beside the page. Lard Narr pointed to the symbol and shook his head.

Greg said something in a questioning tone, and pointed to the symbol. He said the word again, and pointed to the symbol again. After the third time, it clicked in Lard Narrs head that the human might be asking the reason for his going to the planet.

Lard Narr took the pencil from the human and thought for a few moments. How to write this so he doesn't give Bij away. He finally drew down little stick figure representations of himself, Zim and Bij, complete with antennae and horns where appropriate. He pointed to his picture and said 'Lard Narr.' He then pointed to Zim and said 'Zim', and Bij and said 'smeet.' He then tore the picture in two, with Zim and Bij on one side, and himself on the other. He moved the Zim and Bij off, and then made the Lard Narr follow.

The human absorbed this for a few moments. He then walked over to the door and knocked on it. The door opened and in came some more humans dressed in the same clothes that Greg was in. Lard narr guessed it might be a uniform of some kind. He watched them exchange some words, then saw Greg leave.

The apparent leader of the group came over to Lard Narr and said some words that seemed to be important. Lard Narr just shrugged. What did United States Army mean anyway?

- -- -- - - --

Sorry it's short again, but at least things are moving now!


	21. Chapter 21

One month later...

Zim woke up in the middle of the night. He stumbled out of bed and looked into the cot that Kiv was sleeping in. He gave a sigh of relief when he noticed she was still there and still awake. He then went into Bijs' room, and sat by him, pleased that once again the pictures in his head had been lying to him. The smeets weren't getting autopsied because the humans had found out he wasn't human.

An hour later Zim looked at the clock. He deemed it to be late enough that any spies wouldn't get suspicious about him being "awake." He went downstairs and started his "morning ritual." He turned the kettle on, got the newspaper that had been delivered, and turned on the radio to the army frequency. Again they were just chattering about a war game that was going to be played soon, so Zim wasn't too worried. He made himself a cup of the poison humans call coffee, and pretended to sip from it to please any outside watchers.

Zim nearly swallowed some of the coffee when he heard a mention of "project: blue goat" on the radio. He hurriedly turned up the volume, and set the radio to track and record the conversation.

'Is this line secure?' The first voice asked.

'Affirmative, sir. No one outside of the conversation will be able to hear us.' Zim giggled slightly. Those humans were so stupid with their primitive technologies.

'Good. So, how are the results coming?'

'We have managed to place its intelligence as above average for a human, using pictorial exams and tests. We have also made some interesting discoveries about its anatomy and biological composition. Full results are in report 117-xb.'

There was the sound of shuffling paper from the other side of the conversation. Zim took a sip of coffee. 'Yes, yes. This is all very good.' there was a pause. 'You seem to have made some interesting discoveries about the identity of the reason. We'll have to put some men onto that right away.' Zim dropped the mug as the conversation petered out into niceties.

He had been listening in to the reports for long enough to know that he was "the reason." They called him that because he was the reason Lard Narr had come to Earth. Zim turned the radio off. He needed to see that report, to know if it was time to run, or if any drastic change in his behaviour would alert them to his knowledge of their knowledge. Maybe they were looking in the wrong direction completely, and he had no reason to worry.

Zim quickly booted up the computer he had acquired, and connected it directly through the telephone system. He was fidgeting as the connection came through, and visibly jumped when he heard a high pitched noise start up in the living room. He relaxed when he realised it was just the baby monitor, and that Kiv must have woken up and wanted either food or attention or both.

When Zim came back from came back from seeing to Kiv (she had wanted both food and attention, so Zim fed her then brought her back downstairs with him.) the computer had connected. Zim quickly followed the phone systems back to the army's network. He was sure a copy of the report would have been kept on the computer somewhere.

After an hour of searching he found it. Report 117-xb. He opened the file and skimmed through it. There were charts and diagrams about Lard Narrs body, reports on testing on physical and mental capabilities. Zim would have liked to read what experiments they had performed on him, just for the sadistic pleasure, but was too rushed.

He finally made it to the last five pages of the report. The pages he was looking for.

"We have also made some progress on the identity of 'Zim,' codename 'the reason'. It is believed that this is the Mrs. Zim Narr who was questioned on the night of the appearance of the alien. There are many reasons for this. First are the birth certificates and birth records of Mrs. Narr and the two children. Though birth certificates were produced on request, no official records exist in the archives of any of the states that are mentioned. The doctors who signed the certificates also have never been registered with the A.M.A. This would suggest that the certificates are fraudulent, which would require investigation."

Zim read the rest of it with mounting concern. His income with no job or state family benefit, his non-existence on any skool records, his lack of social security number, even the fact that there were reported UFO sightings on the night before he had arrived in the town. The very last sentence gave him a tiny bit of hope, though.

"It is suggested that we handle this situation with care, as there are children involved who may or may not be of alien origin."

Then the computer screen turned dark. Zim frowned and wiggled the mouse. When nothing happened he pressed the on/off switch. He started to feel a bit more worried; then ran into the kitchen and turned on the radio. There was a jumble of noise.

"Repeat, the computer system will be down for the rest of the day due to infiltration by an unknown source. Do not be alarmed. Repeat, the computer system-"

Zim turned it off. 'What was that?' A small voice asked.

Zim looked down. 'When did you get up?' He asked.

'Five minutes ago' Bij answered. 'Did you do something? Are we going to have to leave?'

Zim stroked Bij's head. 'We might have to leave soon, but you don't have to worry.' He placed Kiv in the high chair, then picked up a box of cereal. 'You can have some breakfast while I pack your bag. Then we can go back to the ship, and go to Vort.'

Bij frowned. 'I'll miss Hax.' He said. 'And what about dad?'

'He'll be fine.' Zim said. Then left to go upstairs before Bij could question him further.

-----

Zim was sitting in the kitchen listening to the radio reports. He had sent Bij into the living room to watch cartoons, while he thought about what to do. He had parked the ship too far away to get there easily, especially since he couldn't carry Bij, and couldn't remember exactly where he had parked it.

He sighed and listened to the reports coming in from the radio. Apparently the hacking incident had placed finding him down to number 2 on the priorities list, but he knew that wouldn't last for long. The soldiers would become bored, and suddenly they'd all want to get him.

He turned the radio off and joined the smeet in the living room. Zim curled up on the couch and watch the TV mindlessly. There seemed to be a show on about a screaming green turtle or something, but he didn't care.

'Bij?' Zim asked slowly, 'do you remember where I parked the ship?'

Bij thought for a moment, then shrugged. 'Nope. Wasn't it in the forest somewhere?'

Zim sighed and collapsed his head onto his hands. 'Smeet, if anything happens to me, I want you to take Kiv and go to Girts house. Stay there and don't leave with anybody else. Do you understand?'

Bij nodded. 'Why? Have the army men found us?' He started crying. 'I don't want to get cut up.'

Zim sat up and hugged the smeet tightly, 'don't worry Bij. I won't let them hurt you.' He held the smeet tighter, then froze as he heard a knock on the door. Zim looked up fearfully, and the smeet froze.


	22. Chapter 22

Sorry for ignoring everything. To make up for it is an extra long chapter, and smut. Yay!!!!

Only two more chapters to go, folks!

- -- -- --- - -----

'Stay here, but be ready to run.' Zim told Bij, walking slowly to the door. He picked up a fire poker on the way.

Zim opened the door slowly, ready to bring the heavy metal pole onto whoever was behind the door. Zim dropped the pole when he saw who as at the door. 'Girt.' He said, relieved. He stuck his head out the door and looked around, then dragged Girt inside by his sleeve. 'Come inside.' He said, closing the door quickly. 'It's okay, Bij, it's just Girt.' Zim called out.

Bij poked his head around the corner of the door. 'Hi, Mr. Girt!' He ran up to Zim and hugged him.

'Hey Bij.' Girt said, then turned his questions on Zim. 'You weren't at the skool this morning. Is everything alright?'

Zim sighed. 'No. They've found out we're here, and I can't remember where I parked the ship so we can leave.'

'Oh.' Girt said. 'What about Lard Narrs ship?'

'Eh?'

'He must have come here somehow, so I guess he would have used a ship. Of course, I'm no expert...'

'No.' Zim said, 'you're not. But your point does make sense.' he thought for a few seconds. 'Yes! I'll find Lard Narrs' ship, and then we can leave.' He looked at Girt. 'You can take us there.'

'Ummm, ok.' Girt said, scratching the back of his head. 'I'll fix the baby seat into the car while you pack.' He left the house.

Zim hurried Bij upstairs so he could get both of them ready.

-----

15 minutes later, Zim ran down the stairs, carrying the smeet in his arms, and dragging a large bag behind him. Girt took the bag off Zim, and carried it out to the car, putting it in the back.

While he was doing that, Zim placed Kiv into the baby seat, and Bij struggled onto the back seat by himself, grinning at the accomplishment.

Zim and Girt got into the front seats, and Girt turned towards Zim. 'So, how are we going to find the ship?'

Zim grinned and pulled a small device on a chain out of his PAK. 'Lard narr gave me this. It'll show where ever the ship is, and it'll open it, too.'

He turned it on and it started making a warbling, blooping sound. Zim pointed and said 'That way!'

Girt pulled out and took off in the direction indicated. None of then noticed the car that pulled out behind them 5 seconds later.

-----

'Stop! Stop, stop stop!' Zim shouted 10 minutes later. 'It's here.' He pointed to a large field of greenness.

'The old golf course?' Girt said, 'are you sure?'

'Yes, can't you hear it?' He indicated the device.

'I can!' Bij piped up from the back seat.

'That's good, smeet.' Zim said, 'now let's go.' He jumped out of the car, and opened the back door, Pulling Kiv into his arms. Bij jumped out afterwards.

Zim followed the sounds from the machine to a stop about 30 metres away. He shook the machine and glared at it slightly, then shrugged and pressed a button on the other end of the chain.

There was a brief blurring in the air, and then the ship appeared. Girt nearly dropped the bag he was carrying. 'Geez...' He said. The ship would have been at least 20 metres from tip to tail, and made of a copper coloured metal that shone in the light. It also had maroon highlights, and a small insignia on the side. Though it was small, Girt had a feeling it was important. The entrance opened slowly, lowering steps with it.

Zim whistled. 'He brought the large ship. I didn't know this would work for that.' He put the machine back in his PAK, then took a step towards the ship.

'STOP RIGHT THERE!' a voice called out from the trees nearby.

'Wha?' Zim asked, stunned.

A man in army uniform stepped out from the trees, and pointed a large gun at the group. 'Step away from the ship and put your hands up.'

'_Get into the ship, Bij_.' Zim growled lowly. Bij took a step backwards towards the steps.

The man pointed his gun at Bij. 'Don't move.'

Bij froze in fear. '_Mummy_.' he whimpered. He took a step forwards and hugged Zims leg, clinging to it tightly.

Zim growled. How dare that human scare his smeet. He opened his PAK and extended an extension cord. He then placed it to Girts head. 'If I see you pull that trigger, I'll kill the human. _Bij, get into the ship,_' he whispered after.

'You wouldn't kill him. He's your ally.'

Zim moved closer to Girt so he was hidden slightly behind him. 'He WAS my ally. His usefulness is over now, except as a hostage.' He waved a hand and poked the cord closer to Girts head to distract attention away from Bij.

'What are you doing Zim?' Girt asked, slightly worried. He hoped Zim was bluffing.

'It's okay.' Zim whispered. He then dragged Girt backwards, wrapping the cord around his throat. 'Remember.' He shouted, 'If I even see your finger twitch, I have fast enough reflexes to kill this human and use his body as a shield from your bullets.'

He got onto the stairs. '_Close the door, Bij_.' he said. Bij pushed the door control button.

The ramp slid closed, and Zim and Girt were soon shielded from view.

'Don't hurt Girt, mum.' Bij said. 'Let him go.'

Zim let go of Girt, and Girt dropped the bag. 'I wasn't going to hurt him. It was just a trick so that the human didn't hurt us.'

'Okay. Can I go to my room after?'

'Yes. Try not to distract me.' Girt ran off and Zim moved towards the other side of the room, and placed Kiv into a smeet bed that was up against the wall. He then entered the control room.

Girt followed him. 'What were you pointing at me?' He asked.

'Just an extension plug.' Zim started fiddling with the controls of the ship. 'It couldn't have hurt you' He stood away from the controls. 'I've put us into low orbit in the atmosphere. I'll drop you off at your house soon.'

Girt sat down in the chair next to Zim. 'I wish you didn't have to go.' He sighed. He had been planning on taking Zim to a nice restaurant on the weekend.

'Why not?' Zim asked, uninterested, plugging numbers into the controls.

'I... I... I wouldn't have minded getting to know you a bit better. I mean, I've never met a woman like you before.'

'Mmmm.' Zim said. Then he thought about what had been said. 'But we know each other well enough now.'

Girt blushed. 'Well, I, umm...' He had never been very good at asking girls out when he was little, and apparently nothing had changed.

Zim blinked. 'Oh. Well, I find you mildly attractive, for a human. Though, you really should stay with Hax.'

'Of course.' Girt said. 'I'd never leave her alone.' he moaned. 'The army will be after me now.'

'Don't worry.' Zim said. 'They're not very smart.' The sat in silence for a few moments, then Girt leaned in and kissed Zim.

Zim sat back in shock, then moved onto Girts lap and kissed him harshly. He sat back after a few seconds, panting.

Girt brought his hands up to Zims neck and removed his disguise. 'You're beautiful.' He traced the side of Zims face with the back of his hand. 'So beautiful.' He grinned, then poked Zims face where his nose wasn't.

Zim then leaned in and bit Girts nose, then sucked on it and moved down to his mouth. Girt supported Zim by placing his hands on Zims arse, then he started rubbing his hands up and down Zims legs. He moved a hand round to Zims front, and slid it into his pants.

Zims eyes opened wide. 'Wait.'

'What?' Girt asked, hoping that Zim wasn't going to tell him no.

'There's a bed just down the hall.' Girt opened his mouth to protest, and Zim said, 'The ship's on autopilot.'

Girt removed is hand from Zims pants, then picked him up and carried him out of the room. 'Which door?' He asked.

'This one.' Zim replied, panting. 'This one.' He leaned behind him and opened a door.

Girt stumbled inside, kicking the door shut after him. He then lowered them both onto the bed, and kissed Zim again, pulling his pants down as far as he could reach.

Zim pushed Girt off and onto his back, then sat straddling his waist. Girt sat up and pulled his shirt off, then pulled Zims shirt off, ghosting his fingers along his sides as he did so. When they had done that, Zim leaned down and unbuttoned Girts jeans, lowering them slowly, studying the human's genitals.

When Girts pants were off, Zim wriggled back and licked the tip, grimacing at the taste. Girt reached over to remove Zims pants completely, then started sucking on his neck. 'Mmmmm, Zim.' He moaned. He slid Zim back up his body, then started stroking between Zims legs, sliding a finger inside of him.

'Ohhh.' Zim gasped, pushing down on the finger. He then started blindly groping on the bedside cabinet and found a box.

Girt had placed two fingers inside of Zim when he felt something cold on his penis. He gasped then looked down. Safety first, he thought giddily. He removed his fingers from Zim and started sucking on the fluid that coated them, breathing heavily onto Zims face.

Zim groaned, the slowly sat himself down on Girt, pushing him down a bit and allowing himself to get used to the feeling.

He started moving up and down, and leaned forwards, putting his arms out to support himself. 'Ohhhhh.' Zim moaned, flicking his antennae forwards. He moaned even louder when he felt the human stroke one of his antenna with his tongue.

Zim started panting rapidly, feeling shaky and sweaty. He could feel Girt dig his five fingers into Zims thigh, and could hear the human's pulse thudding swiftly in his chest. He shakily lifted a hand to grab onto the humans shoulder, and could feel himself approaching the edge.

Girt felt himself orgasm at the same time Zim did, and collapsed onto the bed, holding the smaller shaking form close to him. 'That was one hell of a way to say goodbye.' Girt whispered to Zim.

'Mmmmm.' Zim agreed. "I'm not a woman.' he quietly added to the half asleep human.

'Okay, Zim.' Girt stroked Zims head. 'What!?'


	23. Chapter 23

Lard Narr lay strapped to a table. He had his eyes closed against the bright lights shining down on him, and was in considerable discomfit. His legs weren't supposed to stretch out flat like that. He winced as he felt a scientist press down on his already tight muscles. He tried to kick, but was prevented by the straps.

'_Let go of me._' he growled, but to no avail. Then he gasped when a scientist absentmindedly placed a hand on a rather sensitive part of him. He tried to struggle again, but was prevented from moving by the restraints across his arms, chest, waist, neck, and the hideous ones holding his legs flat against the table.

One of the scientists flicked him by the base of his horn, and scolded him for struggling. This distracted Lard Narrs attention for long enough that he didn't notice the saw getting picked up until it was too late.

-----

Zim stood in Girts backyard. Hax and Bij were playing in the sandpit.

Zim looked around warily. 'We'd better go now.'

'Yeah.' Girt said, still in a bit of shock. 'See you tomo-' he shook his head. 'Bye. It was good knowing you.'

Zim nodded brusquely. 'Bij.' he called. 'We have to go. Say goodbye to Hax'

Bij looked up. 'Okay, Mum!' He turned to Hax. 'I have to go with mum now. We're going to go back home.'

'I don't want you to leave.' Hax whined. She had understood that Bij was an alien and she'd never see him again, but she didn't like it.

'I don't want to go, but mum says we have to.'

'Ok.' Hax stood up and hugged Bij, then bent down and picked up one of her pony toys. 'I want you to have this.'

'Bij!' Zim shouted impatiently.

Bij took the pony. 'Thankyou.' he said quietly, then he hugged her back and ran to Zim, who ushered him onto the ship. He turned and waved, 'Bye Hax!'

Hax jumped up and ran to stand by Girt. They both waved at the departing aliens.

Bij also waved from the window until they were out of sight. He then wandered into the control room after Zim. 'Are we going to get dad back?'

'Eh?' Zim asked, 'Oh, Lard Narr. No, we can just go back to Vort.'

'But, mum.' Bij said, 'we can't just leave-'

'No!' Zim turned to face the smeet, and saw his bottom lip quivering. 'Oh, fine. We can get him back. But then we're going back home.'

The smeet brightened up. 'Yay!'

Zim picked the smeet up and put it in the chair next to his. 'I want you to sit here, and press this button, and this button. Start when I tell you to, until I tell you to stop.'

'Ok, Mum.' Zim got up. 'Where are you going?'

'Kiv needs feeding, but I'll be back soon.'

-----

'_No, no, no_.' Lard Narr was pleading with them. He could feel blood drip down and pool on the table below him.

The scientists looked on worriedly. They could tell that the specimen was struggling. 'Maybe we should sedate him?' one suggested.

'No, he might go into shock. We can't have that happen.'

'Yes. Let's continue as we are.' The top scientist said. 'We can stop later if his condition deteriorates too much.'

A scalpel was picked up and applied to his legs. Lard Narr screamed as he felt it pierce the tight skin on his legs. A long rectangle of flesh was removed and placed to the side for later study.

Lard Narr wildly kicked out at them, though wasn't able to move his legs. The scientists held him down to the table firmly. One then untied some of the straps tying that leg on to the table.

Lard Narr took that opportunity to try and escape, but their grip was too tight, and he was already exhausted. The scientists then bent his leg, studying the muscle movements. Lard Narr couldn't help but let out a whimper against the movement, but it was duly ignored.

After five minutes of testing muscles a sterile bandage was placed over the wound and the leg was strapped back into place. Lard Narr let out a barely discernible sigh. It was over. He felt more than saw a bright light shining in his eyes, then passed out.

'Okay, we'll leave him here until he wakes up, then test his reflexes.' The head scientist looked at his watch. 'But maybe a five-minute break first. Jumbi, did you remember to bring the biscuits?'

-----

Zim grinned down. 'Okay smeet, press the buttons now.' Bij did so, and Zim left. 'Remember, keep them pressed until I tell you to stop.'

-----

Lard Narr woke up to see a grinning face above him. '_Zim_?' He asked weakly.

Zim nodded. '_Does this seem familiar to you? I know it's reversed to what you may remember, but it's still familiar._'

_'Zim, I said I was sorry. Please, please forgive me_.'

Zim ignored him. '_I want to make you hurt, Lard Narr. I want to hear you scream_.' He ran his hand down Lard Narr's leg and gripped the bandage. Lard Narr bit his lip.

'_But where would it hurt you most?_' Zims hand trailed further up Lard Narr's leg. He removed the towel covering Lard Narrs crotch, and squeezed roughly. His other hand grabbed a scalpel and placed it to the organ. '_If I just snip it._'

'_No, no, no, no, no. Please Zim, don't.'_

Zim thought for a few moments, then pulled the scalpel away. '_You're right, it does make me feel good. Occasionally_.'

Zim ran the scalpel further up Lard Narrs body to his head. '_Why don't I take an eye. Nobody would notice, and I'm sure you vortians can make a nice prosthetic._' He scraped the scalpel under Lard Narrs eye, cutting a small nick in the skin.

'_Ooooh_.' Zim said, looking at the top of his head. '_They've given me an idea_.' He ran his hand along the sawn off base of a horn. _'You said that horns are a sign of power. How about if I cut it out completely?_' He shoved the scalpel deep to the root of the horn.

Lard Narr opened his mouth and screamed. Zim laughed and sawed away at the horn, occasionally digging in with his fingers. After a few minutes he ripped it out completely and threw it to the other side of the room. '_You deserve that_.' Zim said, laughing and panting heavily.

Lard Narr opened his mouth. '_Please_.' He whispered.

'_Fine_.' Zim said. '_I'll let you out, you can even come back with us_.'

_'Bij_.' Lard narr whispered.

_'Yes. And Kiv_.' Zim started pushing the wheeled trolley out the door.

'_Kiv_?' Lard Narr asked.

'_I'll tell you later. You can meet her soon though._'

-- - - - - --

The last chapter will be out soon.


	24. epilogue

4 years later...

Zim was lying in bed next to a warm vortian body. He opened his eyes to look at the face next to his. He grinned evilly when he noticed the closed eyes and even breathing that meant his partner was asleep. He could have lots of fun with an unconscious Vortian.

Zim pushed the vortian onto his back, and sat on top of him, straddling his waist. He then leaned forwards and started licking the others neck, hearing slight moans from the vortian. Zim then started sucking at his jaw, wondering how far he could go before he woke up.

It was when Zim started nibbling the tender area at the base of the horns that the vortian woke up. 'Zim!' he gasped when he woke, 'what are you doing?'

'I was bored.' Zim said, 'and you taste nice when you're asleep.' He leaned in to lick the base of the horns again.

The vortian settled back with a moan. He didn't se any reason to stop Zim from doing what he was doing, until he looked at the clock. 'Zim, you have to get off me.' He pushed Zim into a sitting position. 'Lard Narr will be here soon, and I don't want him to walk in on us again.'

'Fine.' Zim said, 'but tonight, I get to do whatever I want to you.' He got off the bed and started to pull on some clothes.

The vortian smiled and hugged him. 'Tonight, you can be as noisy as you like.'

-----

The smeets were already in the kitchen by the time the two adults left the bedroom.

Kiv waved at them from behind her bowl of cereal. 'Look at what I did!' She said proudly, displaying a bowl of mashed something.

'I told her not to.' Bij said quickly, making sure that no blame was placed on him.

Zim picked the bowl up with disgust. 'You can't eat it now. You should listen to your brother more.' He tipped the contents of the bowl into the bin.

'I didn't want to eat it. It tasted yucky.' She pulled a face. 'Two-day dad has nicer food anyway.'

'Why don't you ever buy nice food, Sev?' Bij asked.

777 frowned. 'It's good for you.' He picked up the box and looked at it. 'Unless it's 2 weeks past it's used by date. Zim, why do we still have this?'

Zim shrugged. It wasn't his job to check the food. 'Look, Lard Narr's here.' He changed the subject quickly.

'Dad!' Bij said excitedly. He ran to the door and opened it before Lard Narr even knocked. 'Hi dad!' Bij hugged him.

Kiv twisted around on her chair and waved at him. 'Hi La!' She said. 777 picked her up off the chair, and she ran over to Lard Narr.

'Hey you two.' Lard Narr picked Kiv up and hugged her. 'How are my smeets doing this week?'

While the two smeets were busy answering, Lard Narr looked around what he could see of the house. It looked exactly the same as it always did, and while it wasn't his house, it was still suitable for his smeets to live in. He smiled at Zim and got a blank look in return. 'Why don't you two wait outside? I want to speak to your mum.' The smeets ran outside to play.

He walked over to Zim and 777. 'Could you leave?' He asked 777. 777 looked at Zim, who shook his head. 777 shrugged. Lard narr felt a flash of anger and jealousy when he noticed the bite mark on 777's neck.

'Zim, I just wanted to say again that I'm so sorry. I never meant to hit you-'

Zim cut him off. 'I'm not going back to you.'

'I know, just please accept my apology.'

'No.' Zim said firmly.

'Please, Zim.' Lard Narr said pleadingly. He took a step towards Zim. 777 stepped between them.

'He said "no."' 777 spoke firmly, standing about two inches taller than Lard Narr.

Lard Narr backed down, he didn't want to fight. 'I guess I'll see you tomorrow, then.' He turned and left the house.

777 turned and held Zim close until he stopped shaking.


End file.
